A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there!!I'm new to this site so am hoping u can help me please.I'm pregnant, and I dnt no how to tell my boyfriend, I know I have to but I just can't find the words. I was on the pill...and really have no idea how this has happened. I've been back and forth to the doctors changing my pill over the last year so I am assuming this has something to do with it?? I have never forgotten my pill however I usually take it at about 8-9 in the morning and a few weeks ago I forgot as was busy taking my bf to the airport, I didn't take it until about 11pm that night. However we did not have sex after this as he was on holiday we only had sex the night before, could this b how?? The problem is my boyfriends ex girlfriend told him she was pregnant with his baby and he was happy but when the baby was born it turned out he was not his. Since he has struggled to come to terms with even having a child again, I know he would be happy when the baby is born, but until then I don't no how he will cope....I'm scared of wot he might do. He once told me that if I ever got pregnant he would kill himself. Please help me, how do I go about this. Abortion is not an option for me and I do not think I would ever b able to give it up for adoption. Xxx
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 September 2009):
First of all, go to the doctor. Not only will the doctor make sure you're healthy, but he/she can also advise on how to break the news. A woman I know brought her husband to the doctor so the doctor could actually help her break it to him. So consider that. And also, if you think he's going to sketch out or anything, maybe have a friend or family memeber with you so he controls himself. I doubt he'll kill himself, because if he had really been clever he'd have insisted on all the protection to make sure it couldn't have happened. Stick to those beliefs of yours as well. Don't let him force you into an abortion or anything. Make sure you go to all the anti-natal classes and you see the doctor, and also make sure your family and friends know. I'm sure they'll help. If you do have to face it alone, get advice from other single mothers. You won't be the first. Focus on yourself and the baby. That's the most important thing of all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Hi. You dont say how many weeks pregnant you are, so first of all i would suggest you to go to your doctor, if you havent already and just get in confirmed that you are pregnant. As for falling pregnant because of changing your contraception over the past year, its not very likly this led to your pregnancy as a doctor would have told you to take extra precautions if there was any risk of pregnancy during a change of contraceptive pill. But frankly its not worth trying to figure out how it happened. It has happened and you didnt do it alone! It sounds as if your partner wasnt adverse to being a father the first time it happened to him. Its very unfortunate the baby wasnt his and i can understand him being reluctant to start a family until hes sure he wants one. However, it has happened now, so its best to speak to him about it as soon as possible. You mentioned he had been away for a holiday and im wondering if there is a trust issue that you are concerned about. As for him saying he would kill himself. Im sure if he really felt that strongly about it he would have insisted on condoms and the pill, as some do to make sure there isnt an unwanted pregnancy. If you really cant tell him face to face because you are worried about his reaction, try writing him a letter. Hand it to him when youre at home together and can talk about it after hes read it.
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A
female
reader, cemoi +, writes (24 September 2009):
talk to him and tell him that you are not his ex, and that you haven't cheated (because you haven't, right?) and that you think you are pregnant and take it from there.
If he said he'd kill himself if you got pregnant, then maybe you shouldn't have been having sex. There is always a chance of getting pregnant if you're having sex.
And tell him not to go and kill himself coz then his child wont have a daddy.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is very very true.....thank u.
Just u saying that has made me feel a
Little better, we all no that the only way to gaurentee no pregnancy is to not have sex....
It's the strangest feeling, I'm excited and already feel this crazy urge to protect the baby but am very scared that I may have to do this on my own. Xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): If he would be upset enough to kill himself if he got someone pregnant, then what is he doing having sex? There's always risk, obviously he (and you) should have known that when you started.
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