A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is not exactly a relationship question but has raised through me trying to become independent after a relationship ending.I work several different jobs as a lecturer, all of which are on yearly or termly contracts. Recently here in the UK there were major strikes organised by our union, to try to put a stop to UK universities 'casualising' even their most well qualified and experienced staff. In brief, it's been like this for 7 years for me and after years and years of worrying about my contracts being changed each year (I often have had my hours reduced, to the extent that I had to take on a third contract, and these contracts are increasingly difficult to come by as more and more lecturers are being casualised and taking any work they can get). In all this time, the kind of job I want - a fractional permanent post with some time for research - has not come up. I've learned to make the most of it and now fully adjusted to working different hours each week, never really being able to quite figure out what my monthly pay will be and some months not getting paid - I'm quite impressed looking back with how I coped with this - I'm effectively self taught in renovating property and I've managed to start up a property development business 'on the side' and to keep making progress with my research related projects on the 'academic side' of things, and recently bought a property abroad to renovate to use as a 2nd home and studios.Don't get me wrong, there's a sense in which it takes nerves of steel to 'aim high' in terms of finding ways to carve out any way forward with these kind of contracts - it's basically being self employed with multiple different roles to balance and very, very precarious income - but I've now adjusted and I love the flexibility of being able to work remotely a lot of the time,Anyway, recently in one of my contract jobs a permanent, three day a week, post came up. For someone else it would be a fantastic job, but, after loads and loads of consideration, I've realised it is not quite right for me. I 99% trust my thinking on this one and I've really thought it through very carefully. It's in a different research area the one I did my PhD in and which I love, there's no paid time for research and never will be, I'm only interested in the subject upto a point, I'd have to go into an office every day of the job, from early morning, rather than work mainly remotely as I do now, and I'd definitely have the feeling of having a boss, which I currently rarely feel at all; I feel like my own boss.The problem is, I was initially quite excited by this post and told my 'boss' - who I only see a couple of times a year for meetings, don't know really well but do get on well with - that I was interested in applying. My boss gave me good signs - that she was interested in reading my application and that they would welcome it, and even gave me some tips about how to position my perspective on the role at interview, to increase my chances.Then I asked more 'selfish' questions about the role from the perspective of how this would position me career wise in the longer term, and realised it was not right and that it's only because the kind of job I want has not yet come up that I was thinking of applying for this one which, on the surface, seems similar but actually isn't. I've worked on contracts for this organisation for seven years - quite minimal, but enough to amount to good income that I really need and I really enjoy the work I do for them. I am now a bit concerned that I have decided I don't want to do the job - it is a great job for someone, but I want a role that I know I can give 110% to because I feel so passionate about it and I know what it is like to commit to jobs that I don't feel that way about - I've done this in the past and it ultimately doesn't work because I can't give the organisation what it wants and end up getting seriously depressed and physically ill (mainly from sitting all day every day at a desk, feeling numb and exploited. In the past I've done this through necessity, and although I've sometimes been promoted, I've also probably come across at other times as just doing enough to keep my head above water (my bosses not knowing that I'm inwardly extremely depressed and struggling to cope) It's resulted in my positions at work being made redundant, twice running, because I think my bosses can see I'm basically a nice person but just not in the right role.I still have a nagging doubt that I'm making the wrong decision because I've had no career guidance about what I want to do, and in a way, this job represents a lot of safety, for the rest of my life if I want, but it would also severely impact on my current way of working - I work hard in my contracted jobs, do them really well because I can do a lot of the work in my own time, I don't ever really feel like I have a boss, which I've realised is really important to me, and I can get on with my own projects 'on the side'. I don't want to lose the good relationship I do have with my boss and at work, and I don't want to lose the contract I have, but I am worried I haven't told her I've changed my mind. Do I say anything to her? The only way I could do this at this late stage would be via email? Should I explain I'm not the right fit for this role ? How much detail should I go into?Thanks for any advice on this one!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 May 2020):
Hi there. It seems like flexibility is important to you, and being able to work remotely from home.
I can understand that, plus your other "on the side" work you also enjoy.
I guess it really comes down to what is more important to you.
You cannot do better than just being plain honest with your boss.
So, have a little chat with her, explain how your time is spent these days, in being able to work from home, plus being able to do some other little projects in between, and that you fear you will lose some of this variety, if you accept the new position.
And explain that you have given this a lot of very careful consideration.
The way your work life is now, it seems like you have a fair bit of variety, which you don't really want to change.
Having flexibility in your work life, plus variety is a pretty interesting life.
Plus, you seem to be able to work things out, so that you make ends meet.
I can't really see it as being much of a problem.
You seem to always fall on your feet.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2020): You don't want to lose the contract you have but you understand the flexible nature of academic work and this has enabled you to carve out other pathways.
The money coming in from academia has been useful.
My caution is that you may have overestimated your right to be picky about this promotion.
Your boss has encouraged you and that is a good sign.
You don't have to get depressed and miserable on a three day week if you look after yourself well and maybe you will need an academic pension when the time comes.
But your confusion is over how to tell your current boss that you have changed your mind.
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe you should get the job and try it before downgrading your ability to function well in the job.
Maybe it's an opportunity you should take.
Maybe you should just carry on and get that job.
You still have four days of the week to continue with everything else!
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