A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Last weekend I got very drunk with a group of my friends at a club and ended up kissing one of my close guy friends. I have known his forever and honestly, have had a thing for him in the past that has lasted a long time. But, right now I am with a boyfriend who adores me and I know he loves me very very much and i feel absolutely terrible about the whole thing. I want to be honest with him, but I have no idea how to even start the conversation. Please help.
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male
reader, Solcy  +, writes (19 June 2017):
 Nomatter how drunk you are, it doesn't stop you from being who are. You still have a feeling for your ex. If I lie, how then do you remember your action?
Moreover, if you still care for your present relationship, shy away from anything that betrays trust and try as much as you can to improve daily.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 June 2017):
 First off if alcohol is making you cheat then you should consider not drinking if you cannot trust yourself. Secondly you mention how much he loves and adores you but you don't say how you feel, are you wanting to be in a relationship with him? Do you love him? If not then it may be kinder to let him go. Thirdly you should tell him, it won't be easy and it is a hard thing to tell someone, but you should be honest, because if he finds out from someone else it could ruin his trust in women totally. Do the right thing and hopefully you can learn from this never to cheat on someone again.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 June 2017):
 I guess the posters saying don't tell him wouldn't want to know. I'd want to know that I couldn't trust my partner when they drink.
Sit him down (make sure he's not a violent person) and just come out with it. "I'm really sorry, John, but I drank too much last Saturday (whenever it was) and kissed Brian. I feel awful about it because I love you and won't get drunk again". Then take your consequences.
In future, don't get drunk and please distance yourself from the friend you kissed - you're treading on thin ice with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2017): I don't recommend you spill the beans. It was a kiss; and you were intoxicated. You can't really blame it on the alcohol; because you did have a long-time crush on the guy. If your friends are aware; it is likely the incident may find its way to him. If it does, tell him how guilty you feel and that you were fearful of losing him for the mistake. Apologize for being too afraid to confess.If you've been with your boyfriend for only a few months, don't mess things up. It might cause a fight, but he is more likely to forgive you.If you've been together for over a year or longer; he mightbe very hurt, and could breakup with you. You'll just have to wait this out. If he asks, he already knows; that's when you confess.Not to disagree with anyone's previous advice; but please don't say "it meant nothing." It means something to him; and to say that means you're reckless with his feelings, and have no respect for your relationship. The less said outside your apology, the better. Over-emphasizing or pushing your lame excuse about being drunk will piss him off. Then he can't trust you to go out with your friends, or being around that guy. You better get your crush under control; or he'll feel you like the other guy more. If he wrote me for advice, I would advise him to dump you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2017): I think you should tell him, as it sounds like he might hear from others, which would be worse. Just be honest, you had too much to drink and made a mistake. I think he will appreciate honesty rather than a cover up. I know I would.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (7 June 2017):
 DON'T DO IT!
It is never a good idea to try to make yourself feel beter by unloading your guilt. You will just hurt your boyfriend and make him worry about trusting you.
Learn your lesson and don't drink so much in the future.
If anything gets back to your boyfriend, play it down and say it was just a bit of drunken messing around and meant nothing. That's the truth, isn't it?
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