A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a 14 year old girl. Through out my whole life I've always been a very nice and shy girl. Since I'm in grade 8 now, I'm around more people, I'm even more shy. This boy in my class(13) likes me and he has asked me out a few times and I have said I don't know. I kind of got frustrated with him always asking me so I said yes to go out with him. I like him a bit because he is very sweet to me, but I don't feel comfortable to go out with him. I'm a shy and a nice girl and if a boy asks me out I have to say yes to sound nice because that's just who I am. I just didn't want to hurt his feelings but how do I tell him I'm not allowed to go out with a boy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Why do you feel the need to say YES? It would be so much easier to say that you can't go out. You dont have to explain to anyone why you cannot go out, it is your business and not theirs. Never feel under pressure to do the things that you dont want to do, and it wont make you a less nicer person either, just a very truthful, respected and honest one.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 hey hun well there are two things you need to do 1) if you don't like this guy in that way, then you shouldnt agree to go out with him, tell him that you would rather be friends - saying yes to sound nice is only going to end up with an argument. 2) if you do really want to go out with him, maybe you could compromise with your parents, why dont a group of you go to the cinema? that way you can still say your going with friends but have time alone with him. if its not goin to happen, then just tell him that your parents dont want you going out with a guy yet, im sure he'll understand!! good luck hun, and dont worry if it doesnt happen this time!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): everyone starts wanting to have bfs/gfs at different times, if you feel uncomfotable around boys and others now, maybe you should hust tell him honestly how you feel, just say it's not personal he sounds sweet and he obviously genuinely likes you, i think you should try to maintain a strong friendship as he sounds like he would support you by building your confidence. Tell him you would really like to be friends, just not in that way. having a bf shoudn't be a drag, he should be someone you feel affections to because he makes you happy, there's no point in going out with someone just for the hell of it, wait for the right guy, bide your time and im sure it will be worthit and more special. I know, partly from my experience. There are loads of girls-and guys out there who are shy and reseved at that age, i definitely had a small social phobia at that age (not that long ago.) however calling me shy now would be pretty insane, according to my friends. You won't be the same for ever, you'll mature and enjoy life more when you're a bit older. Just remember to be yourself and do what you want when you want take care xx
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A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 First of all, honesty is the best policy. You'll spend more time trying to work your way around the truth unless you just come out and say it. I used to be the same way as you. I tried not to turn down a date because I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings by rejecting them, but it only hurts them more in the long run. You are preceiving that you are interested by obliging to his offer to go out. So say you were able to date and you went out with him and it turns out you don't get on well as you suspected would happen, now you've got to tell him that you're not interested in him which will hurt more than just being honest and saying "I'm sorry, I would but I'm not allowed to date yet." That way he doesn't feel like you are rejecting him because you don't like him but because you are obeying your parents. Now that you've obligated yourself by saying "yes", just tell him that you talked to your parents about it and they will not allow you to go out on a date yet. Please always remember "honesty IS the best policy". Good luck dear!
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