A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years. I do love him, but I'm not in love with him. Sense about a year into the relationship I have wanted out. But we already lived together and have a dog, so its hard. Everyone probably thinks that it's just a dog whatever, but he is my dog and my baby and I traveled very far to rescue him and I want to take him with me. The only problem is that I wont have time for him between school and work and just wanting to stay out all night with my fiends it wont be fair. But my boyfriend already told me that he can't keep him because he doesn't have the money. Anyway, went off topic a little there, I just don't want to be with him anymore. I'm young and we act like an old married couple. I have told him this a hundred times and he always says "why do you hate your life? I think the life we have is fine." The thing is I don't think its a bad life, it's just not the life for me. He doesn't control my life or anything, but I always feel like he is judging me about everything. And I go to my friends house on the weekends and she lives in a college town, he never says I can't go, but I can tell he wants me to sit at home with him. I tell him it's just girls hanging out, but she has a few guys over too, but I don't cheat on him or anything, but he wouldn't believe me. The thing is that in the beginning of our relationship he found out I had sex with more guys than him and we fought about it all the time. He made me feel like crap. He was always trying to "teach me lessons" ON BEHAVIOR FROM 3 YEARS PRIOR! I didn't know him at the time and it wasn't fair to me. Well he stopped that because I had enough and just about left him. But, now I feel resentment towards him for all the things he said to me. He never called me a whore or slut, but he might as well have. All in all our life is so damn tedious and I don't know why I stay with him. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I don't leave him. I guess I just don't like confrontation. I'm not even sure what I'm asking here, but its over between him and me. I just don't know how to tell him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): If you are quite sure it is not the relationship for you then it is best to find somewhere to live first or ask hime to. Make it clear you will be taking the dog chances are he won't want the hassle most guys don't.
I hope you don't mind me asking if you have tried communication to change things for the better.
For example making it crystal clear that you need regular dates and romance to be happy in a relationship.
Also make it clear that you have been wanting out of the relationship because he does not listen to you about some important things, such having fun doing some of the activities that you would enjoy as a couple. Tell him that you want to have a stimulating life with the one you love.
Untill he accepts that this is killing the romance and relationship he will not be able to change things.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): This is a sad story to me. My brother and his girlfriend have been together probably about the same time you and your boyfriend have. And they seem to live the same lifestyle. If this is truly somthing you want to do then I think you should follow your heart. But just remember somtimes when you let someone go you can't ever get them back. But about the dog they have one too, and I know if they broke up I would want to take the dog. So maybe a friend or family memeber could take the dog and both of you could still visit it. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Since you have already expressed your disastisfaction to your bf and nothing has changed, you'll just have to sit down with him and tell him its not working and you intend to move out.
Make sure you have a new apartment to go to and can manage your expenses, first, however.
Your poor dog. He's been with you both and you're not willing, apparently, to make changes in your life to take him with you, You say your bf can't (or is it won't?) keep him. Take him to the animal shelter and ask them to put him up for adoption - UNLESS you can find people to stay with him while you're out all night with friends, that is.....
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