A
female
age
41-50,
*utu22
writes:There is this guy that I have know forever. He likes to party a lot and all the girls he has gone out with always end up without him. I have had a crush in him for years now but nothing every happened between us. I recently came out of a relationship myself and want to make the right decision this time around. The problem is he is always asking me out and shows affection towards me and I will be totally honest that I have a physical attraction towards him but I don't think anything more. The problem is that my community is pretty tight and everyone knows everyone. This guy especially knows everyone. And there are other men that could be potential for me to start a relationship with but if I continue talking to this guy the other one's will find out and never even come close. What do I do? How do I tell him that I don't want anything from him? It makes it hard since I am attracted to him physically. I am leading him on because I like the attention and I just go along with the flow. I am too nice maybe? I cannot say no. How do I make my life less complicated? Is it right for me to bluntly tell he is making me uncomfortable because I like him but I don't think we have a future together and I don't want o ruin my reputation my having a fling with someone everyone knows???? Or would that make him mad if I tell him i like him but don't want to be with him? I don't want to get him on my bad side either because we have done some physical things together and I don't want him to use it against me. Please tell me why this is so hard??
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male
reader, Roshii  +, writes (27 July 2011):
 This is more of a throw caution into the wind kinda times, It calls for your to be direct. You also have to stop leading him on just because you like the attention but how else is this guy going to understand your not interested. To him your probably just playing "hard to get".
And unfortunately his targets set on you and he's trying to "close" and your trying to run for the hills because being with him will ruin your reputation because everyone knows him.
I get that, the guy puts himself round a little and you want someone with a future, so just tell him that you and him have no future and that you don't do flings. Sure he might go round blabbing about the other physical things you've done and if he does and you hear about it set the story straight. There is no reason why you should feel any fear or apprehension about telling this guy how it is.
I think really this is something we've all been through. You might find he doesn't give in so you take drastic steps to make sure he knows your not interested.
Face what you've done together and don't be ashamed of it. Not one person can say they are living there life with out mistakes.
I hope that helps
Roshii
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