A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I've been with my boyfriend for like 1 and a half years. We get along great, we always have. We've only fought once. I feel safe and comfortable around him and when he kisses me there are definite sparks. We talk about getting married a lot, jokingly and seriously, and I really think he could be the guy I spend the rest of my life with, if it all pans out that way. He's my best friend.So your probably wondering what my question is. Well I have three actually.1. How do you act couple-y in public without being gross?So like when me and him are hanging out at school or with friends all of them tend to say I ignore him and am kind of mean and make fun of him. My mom has even said that. He tells me that he just wants me to be nice, but it's hard. I'm very headstrong, a little to much. And I tend to do only what I want to do. But I also am afraid of being judged. I feel like people are gonna judge me if I act girly around my boyfriend, the way he makes me feel when I'm around him. I give off this tough persona when I'm not with him, but he makes me weak in the knees. He just tells me I should be nice. But what should I do?2. How do I tell him I need some space and wanna hang out with my friends?I have told him this before but it just tends to hurt his feelings. And then, even worse, when I say "I miss you!" he's like "see. I told you you'd miss me. That's why I am always around you." When in fact, I like the feeling of coming back to him and missing him. It's nice and comforting. I'm a naturally introverted person, I've always liked spending time just on my own. I even get this way about my girl friends. I just don't want to hurt his feelings.3. How do I tell him he's a little to jealous?The fact is, he loves me. A LOT. He get's jealous whenever I hang out with boys (he thinks I'm into them) and girls (because I'm bi and he knows it. We check out girls together sometimes, lol.) One half of me thinks that's completely sweet but the otherside feels a little suffocated. Like he's trying to control me or something. WHICH HE IS NOT. Because we've talked about this before, and he's not trying to control me, he's trying to be my only boy. I just wanna tell him, without wrecking our relationship, that hanging out with other people is okay and I'm not gonna cheat on him. Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (19 October 2010):
1 - You just have to decide that you don't care what other people think. Imagine that everything you do and say to him or about him is you trying to tell everyone else how great he is. Let other people know he is perfect in your eyes.
2 - You just have to be open and honest, and have a real sit-down talk with him about it. The more you talk, the more he will realize that you need space for yourself.
3 - This is something you just have to get used to. Some people are naturally trusting; others are not. Some people are naturally trustworthy; others are not. The best thing you can do is try your best to keep him from getting jealous over situations, and hope that in time he relaxes and decides that he can trust you more.
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