A
female
age
30-35,
*Xxkinki_katiexXx
writes:What do I do?I know it sounds bad, so please don't judge me, or leave nasty comments!Well 8 and a half months ago I slept with 5 lads in a period of two weeks, and now im due a little boy any time soon, but all the lads know im pregnant and they all want to come with me to support me while I give birth!!This is very awkward!!Obviously they all can't come but that's not the point, how do I tell all five lads, that they may or may not be the father to my baby?I'm really getting upset and nervous, and I don't want to fall out with them, and as 4 out of the 5 lads being hot headed I don't want them to have a fist fight, but I don't want to be a single mum, and I don't want my baby to not know or have a father!!Please help!!!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
From a male.
Be very brave and tell each of them there is a chance that they are not the father. Yes, they may well get angry, but that's the fact and they'll just have to take it. Have none of them present at all and when you arrive at the hospital, make sure the staff know that you don't want any of those males near you and warn them in advance of the problem. That way if there is any trouble, they'll deal with it. What's most important is you and your baby. Then, once your son is born, have a DNA test done. It's the only way to be sure. Lost of luck.
A
female
reader, pinkgoblin15  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 Well if you get to nervous about the whole thing you could always say
*You might be the father of my baby*
Scratch -Or four other guys- part of it.
I would use that as a last resort. Btw can you tell us more about these guys? Is one of them your bf? Are any of them your close friends? So that way the Aunts could further instruct you better
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Tell each of them that they may not be the father and let them assume there's one other guy involved (that should get them less heated up). Tell them it's great of them to want to support you at the birth, but you'd rather go through it on your own/with your mum and girlfriends or something. You can't really have 1 or 2 of them there and then have them turn out not to be the father later on. And yeah, like the others said, get a DNA test as soon as you can after the birth. You can start finding out about that now, before the birth, and collect samples from the potential fathers now so that you can get it finalised more quickly after the baby is born :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I'd tell each one of them that you want to do a DNA test as there's a possiblity that they're not the father. No need to tell them that there are FOUR others...
I'd get a blood test too, as that is very fast and can rule out a few right off the bat, teh Dr. will know in minutes if one or more of them can not be the father due to blood type. The DNA test will be required when some of them can't be ruled out. I'd get them to give samples for both.
Good luck- you NEED TO DO THIS... for everyone's sake.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 September 2009):
 Do the five men all know about each other? Or do they all think they were the only one?
You need to sit down with all of them, and be honest with them. Tell each of them, that they may not be the father of your child. Once the baby is born, you will need to get a DNA test done, so that you can prove which of them is the father. He has a right to be in your (his and your) childs life.
It is important that no lies remain between you and the prospective father. IF you want him to be part of your childs life, you need to be totally honest with him, and that starts by telling him that you slept with 4 other men around the same time as you concieved your child.
I think it is honorable that all 5 want to be part of your life and to help you, just be prepared for them to back off when they find out they are not "the one". They may well be angry, and they will probably call you all sorts of names, especially as it appears they all think they are the father.
Also, in future, make sure you use contraception. The pill AND a condom just to be sure. In some ways you have been lucky. By having unprotected sex, you only got pregnant, you could well have picked up any number of STD's which COULD have left you infertile, or with a lifelong medical condition, or even something more fatal.
For your own safety, in future please please be more careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): ok, im not about to put you down, whats done is done and im sure you realise now that you did not make wise desicions in the past.firstly, take none of them into the delivery room, go with your mother if thats possible.when your baby is born, have paternity tests. you will have to let people involved know that they may not be the father, after the tests results you will know for sure.whoever the father turns out to be, nobody knows what he will decide.things may turn out ok and he may want to be in you and your babys life.if on the other hand he wants to play no part then you will be a single mother.being a single mother can be hard work, but you will be ok, if things get stressfull at times then always ask for help, people are more than willing to help once you ask for it.you have a beautiful baby about to make an appearance, cherish him whatever the outcome of the tests, becasue he will be your biggest and most treasured love.goodluck and i hope all goes well for you
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A
female
reader, Miami Ad-Vice +, writes (20 September 2009):
Well, I think it's amazing that all five of the boys want to support you, when there are plenty of girls who have had to go through pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood completely alone. You have to tell them all, do it now while you are pregnant and if it looks like they will end up fighting, fake pregancy pains and pretend it's causing you distress.
You need to find out the identity of your child's father so your baby can have and know it's dad. Do it for yourself and your unborn child and do it now!
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