A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really like this girl, who happens to be the daughter of my dad's workmate. I first met her about this time last year and have met her again since. Both times, she left me with the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I felt awkward about speaking to her as I was in the company of both her and my parents. We are friends on Facebook but I am unsure if she knows who I am.I do not get to see her in real life often as we live about an hour away from each other. I also have a very low self-esteem and feel extremely nervous when talking to girls that I like (I sweat excessively, I choke on my words and I find it hard to look at her in the eye for fear of staring). As a result of these problems, I would prefer to initially start a conversation and tell her how I feel about her through Facebook.Which brings me onto my main question, how do I tell this girl how I feel about her? How do I start up the conversation? How and when do I drop the bombshell? I have never had a girlfriend before so I am completely new to this...I know I may be rattling on a bit but I would seriously appreciate your help with my situation.Thanks in advance,
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 Hi!
You start a conversation by saying, "hi, how are you?". That's always a good beginning. Saying ANYTHING, really. And if you want to start it over Facebook, then go ahead and do it. Then, I would not waste a lot of time (weeks) building a friendship and all... I would ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee or to the movies or for lunch, as Janniepeg suggested.
No need to drop a bombshell. I wouldn't drop any bombshells. Just see if she'd like to go out with you sometime and if she does, let the relationship develop at it's own pace.
If she says no, that's okay too. This is good practice. You'll get more comfortable with girls when you get more comfortable starting up a conversation and learning to bounce back if they aren't interested in going out to a movie. Sometimes that happens, and it can be for tons of reasons - they like someone else, they just broke up with someone, they're not interested in dating anyone at the time, etc. You win some, you lose some, but you don't get anywhere if you don't try!
Go for it! Good luck, sweetness!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 It's normal to feel like this because of your hormones. Starting from age eleven I would have butterfly feelings towards male teachers, hairdressers, etc. I would flip through my brother's school album looking for handsome boys. It's too early to know what's going to happen between you two. If you get jitterish when you see her it's okay, she might think it's cute. But try to separate your natural attraction to girls from real feelings towards her. The strong sensations you feel are from body chemistry. Real love is something that takes time to develop, together with compatability and trust. At first you can keep it low key and just suggest something to do like a lunch and a movie. Tell her when you saw her and that you want to see her again. No need to mention about strong feelings yet.
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