A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28yrs old with a child. Got married in 2008. My hubby is a nice n loving Person thou not romantic,but has a bad temper.he has hit me twice n i just feel its so wrong. He always compares me to his ex and uses abusive words on me everytime we have an argument or quarrel.like "i regret marrying you and all that"His temper even gets worst wen u tell him wat he's doing wrong.he always turns it around 4 u to be on the receiving end and make pple feel u're d wrong person.i want to keep my home cos i know I've my own faults too.but how do i tame him.he's too impatient n always in a hurry to do things.he's not a sex person n I've come to understand that but i need advice on how to tame him.I've decided to make his imperfection perfect. Please help me. Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): I am sorry....but how did you two get married? This man is not treating you with love AT ALL! Did he ever treat you with love? I am sure there were some signs in the beginning that he was not right for you. At this point, only prayer and counselling can help you. its strange that you call him nice and loving yet in the same token he hits and verbally abuses you. This man has controlling issues and demons that only God and serious self evaluation and possibly therapy can solve. Its probably best for you to suggest counselling, if he can't control himself not to hit you, one day he will hurt you and do some real damage. Don't take this lightly. Abusive men have issues, YOU CAN"T CHANGE HIM.
A
male
reader, nononsense  +, writes (15 February 2011):
First. No one should be hitting you. Understand that is wrong and you should not accept that. Second, tell this guy you will not allow him to hit you any longer and seek help. Counseling for both of you. If he doesn't stop, leave him. Life is short and you have a child to think about before you think about yourself.
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A
female
reader, missy_musk  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Sweetheart you are never going to be able to tame him. From the sound of it that is simply the way he is. Him hitting you should never have happened, least of all twice! thats not love. And thats certaintly not the environment to bring up your child in now. Him hitting you is one thing, but ask yourself this, what makes you think he wont one day turn around and hit your child? if you have decided to "perfect his imperfections" as you put it then i sincerly wish you luck. When you love someone it will never be easy but love is not always enough. Comparing you to his ex shows me that he is not completly "over" his ex and of course having him comparing you to her is simply wrong and hurtful. This is your marrige and this is not how any marrige is supposed to be. Firsty i would suggest you have a deep and meaningfull chat with him about the way be behaves. Do this in an environment where you will be protected incase things get out of hand. If that fails then i would seriously re-asses the situation and seriously consider having a break from the relationship. feel free to mail me xx
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