A
female
age
41-50,
*arymomnwife
writes:there has always been tension between my mom and my husband because he is 2 yrs older than her. she hates him 4 that which in turn makes him dislike her too. last night after dark as soon as our dinner was done my parents made an unannouced visit. they played with the kids laughed and talked. about 30 mins after they got down here we went ahead and ate our food. my husband tells my dad 'im sorry we dont have enough food 2 offer you guys some, we didnt know you'd be down 4 a visit'. my dad said oh no problem, we ate earlier. my mom sat there for 5 more mins then got up and stomped out without a goodbye 2 any1. im gonna see her today and i dont know how 2 handle telling her that my oldest daughter (almost 4yrs) cried not knowing why granny left without kisses. my mom always says my hubby does stuff just 2 upset her (like he has that much free time). she has always scared me because of her short fuse, she has since calmed down, but there were times (teen years) i got hit and stuff thrown at me. i need a little help with how 2 talk 2 her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 November 2010):
 I disagree here he was not rude at the end of the day they werent expected. Sorry i picked you up wrong i thought there was only 2 years between you and him. But still in that case age shouldnt matter if you are both happy. Every marriage has rocky parts in it its when you overcome them thats what matters. Yes it would be good to talk to your mother maybe try and get her to see that you are really worried about her. Maybe even ask your dad if he would talk to her about going to get tested for bipolar. Goodluck in the future.
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (30 October 2010):
 I'm sorry but I think your husband was rude. YOu first ask everyone if they want to eat - if they don't, great and if they do you ration things out, make more food or make something else. YOur husband was rude.
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A
female
reader, marymomnwife +, writes (30 October 2010):
marymomnwife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy mom is 2 yrs younger than my husband. my husband and i have had a rocky relationship but we r moving past that. my dad didnt like my husband for 5yrs just because of the age difference between me n my hubby but now they r friends. the real reason behind my fear of my mothers outbursts is because i think shes bipolar and wont get tested or help. all of this makes it hard to express what i need to tell her. when shes calm shes a good mom and grandmother but when shes mad its like war but with a little silence and thats the worst time. also i was raised that kids r 2 b seen rather than heard and this also makes it hard 2 talk 2 her i know im not a kid anymore but its hard 2 overcome how u were raised even if the specific logic for the way i was raised was stupid. thank u for responding i will try to sit down and have a calm conversation with her. i dont know if it will work but im willing to give it a shot.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 October 2010):
Sounds like your mum is quite over dramatic here, your husband was only being polite in telling them this however your mum obviously took it as an insult. You need to have proper words with her.
When you see her tell her you need to have a serious talk, you said she is angry because he is two years older than you? Am sorry that is pathetic if you are both happy then age shouldnt even come in to it, maybe your mother is jelous of the home you have build around you. Anyway you need to ask her what her problem was last night tell her that she really upset her grand daughter by stomping out and tell her you are not going to take it anymore that you dont want your kids getting upset, she needs to grow up a little bit here. Tell her she needs to start making an effort with your husband or else she is going to lose you and her grand children if she keeps acting like this.
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