A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am a 21 year old married female. I have been marries for 6 years and have lately found myself attracted to weman. I have found myself masterbating watching lesbian porn, and i feel horrible about it because i will do it about 5 times in 1 day. I dont know what to think about it, i can't tell my husband and i can't tell my family. So i wonder has this happed to anyone else. Am i a lesbian am i bi or just curious. Should i be with a woman to find out or what. The sexual tension with my husband is still great. So what should i do.
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female
reader, butt2fly +, writes (14 September 2009):
I have been married for two years and the same thing has been happening to me. i am scared to let anyone know.I love my husband very much and dont want to leave him. I dont know what it is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): um just checking........you say that you are 21 and have been married for 6 years. does that mean that you got married when you were 15or was it a typo???????????????????????/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): We generaly watch porn together, but lately i am very hot for a woman and i am having sex with my husband and masterbating all in the same day. Is that too much, is there even anything as too much sex. Too me it is great and i can understand how even sleeping with a woman is cheating. So i guess i should just move on and forget about sleeping with a woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): no ur not a lesbian just because u masterbate over women porn. i have a bf and im no way a lesbian, but i love 2watch lesbian porn. its hard 2 explain, lesbian porn often reveals oral, which i love personally, and in striaght porn its just straight sexhope i helpedxxx
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 No. You should not go with a woman to find out if you are lesbian or bi. That's being unfaithful exactly the same as a woman sleeping with a man other than her husband or a man sleeping with a woman other than his wife. There's absolutely no other way of looking at it. Would it be right for a wife to go off with some other man to find out if he could give her better orgasms or something like that?
IF sex (and everything else) with your husband is great, then why risk damaging that? A relationship is a relationship, and as long as it is working and both of you are happy with each other you most certainly don't want to have sex, casual or otherwise, lesbian or otherwise, with anyone else. It's not morality (not only that), it's just common sense.
Now, that porn. Ask yourself whether you would be happy if you found out that your husband was watching porn and masturbating - gay porn or otherwise. I'm not going to pass judgement on whether looking at porn is right or not - only to say that both I and my partner sometimes look at it and enjoy it. It's definitely not right for everyone, and it definitely can become addictive and damaging for some relationships. Be careful. And be careful if you are looking at it without telling your husband. Trust is important in a relationship, and doing it "behind his back" is far from ideal.
If you have a desperate urge that you really can't satisfy with what you have now, then maybe you need to look further. If it's not that bad and what you do now is enough, then go with it. Enjoy the fantasies, as well as the realities of your relationship. That way there's little risk that anyone is going to get hurt. You can't have it both ways - being bi doesn't mean you are going to have a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time. Like all of us, you generally have to pick just one partner. Threeway relationships rarely work.
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A
female
reader, Misti Hdz +, writes (3 May 2008):
 First of all you got married realy young, therefore you have missed out on all of the "experimenting" and that could be your problem. I can't say whether you are lesbian or not, but I am married and I have been with women before, and would be with them again if my husband approved of it. If you masturbate while watching lesbians it doesn't mean you are lesbian or bi. I believe that it is because the female body is so attractive and sexy, and turns anyone on, even the most straightest women will agree to that. But honestly I suggest that you try it at least once to cure you curiosity
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