A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I didn't really know where to go with this question, but hoped somebody on here may be able to offer some advice:)Basically, I have anxiety disorder and suffer from frequent panic attacks, it all started last year but eventually I managed to calm the anxiety to a point where it rarely affected me however within the past couple of months it's started to come back and I'm starting to have frequent attacks again (about once a week) although I've developed a way of having slightly more control of them. Throughout all this time I haven't really spoken to any of my friends about it as when I tried to tell one, in short, she told me I was over exaggerating, I could then never tell anyone else about either. With these recent ones I also feel reluctant to tell my parents that they're so often as I don't want to worry but they are aware it's happening every now and again. However - today in math class it happened once again, and the first time I've ever had an attack whilst being at school, I did try and control it as I didn't want to make a fuss but obviously a few people on my table realised something was wrong, at the end of the lesson they called over the teacher and she asked me if I was okay to which I just simply said yeah I'm fine but even still my friends didn't really seem to care what was going on when I tried to explain what Ir actually was . This teacher, I feel as if I want to talk to her about this problem I have as I've never wanted to talk to anyone before but for some reason when she said 'are you okay' I just wanted to tell her everything that's happened, and just for somebody to understand as I feel she might actually care but the times passed now. I'm pretty much saying in a long winded way, is there a way of me being able to talk to her about this without it seeming weird and me just blurting out my problems? I don't want to feel like the needy student. Sorry for the long question, I just want to hear some peoples opinions and advice, thanks in advance;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2014): OP here! I stayed after school today to do maths with another teacher an when it finished she called me into her room, and basically asked if I was okay now. I just replied with 'yeah I'm fine now' and briefly explains what it actually was, she genuinely seeme concerned and asked me about it to which I told her what's happened over the past year - she then said I could talk to her when it happens, or if I just feel like I need to talk to someone because she'll listen.Knowing someone actually cares makes me feel 100x better and I don't expect to know how to deal with it or anything like that it's more the fact I just needed somebody to talk to, and get all my feelings out!With regards to my parents I told them what happened in class and they just didn't seem to care, I know they're don't want to make a big thing out of it infront of me but it's like the elephant in the room now and they never talk to me about what's happening and that's the main reason why I wanted someone else that I could air my problems to.Thankyou for all your responses, they've really helped:) x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2014): Tell your parents, OP. I'm a teacher, if you approached me about that I'd discuss it with you, send you to school counsellor and inform your parents if you won't. It's a health issue and dealing with has the potential to improve your quality of life, there is just no way I could not inform them of that.
OP panic attacks are manageable with the right help. Social anxiety is pretty common and it's nothing be ashamed or embarrassed about.
Don't be afraid to tell your teacher, see if you can email them to organise a 10 minute chat face to face. But do tell your parents first, OP, your teacher will have to and you don't want to risk them feeling bad that you didn't feel you could talk to them about it.
OP understand that the term "needy" doesn't actually apply to someone who genuinely needs a bit of help like you do. You're not brave or strong for forcing yourself to deal with this alone, you're being a bit foolish. Have a chat with your parents and your teacher and tell them you'd like proper help to deal with it. Find out your list of triggers, find out coping techniques that don't involve medication from a professional.
OP you'd be surprised how many people have issues with anxiety. You know the most brash and arrogant of your classmates may well have the exact same issue but they just deal with it differently.
Don't be afraid to open up to adults about this, OP, as another poster said we can't help you if you keep saying everything is fine. Don't become one of these people who always says they're fine then doesn't understand why people just don't see that you're not.
OP the hardest part of dealing with a problem is not admitting to yourself that you have a problem like people say it is, the hardest part of all is exposing that problem to others and opening up, it's tough feeling that vulnerable and you always get that fear of feeling weak because of it, but seeing as it's so hard it takes a great deal of strength to open up so in fact it's the opposite.
Never deal with anything this serious alone, parents, teachers we love this kind of thing, we live to help and we'll do everything in our power to do so if you just gather up the courage to ask. You have more to fear from letting this go unresolved.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (6 March 2014):
 You may not see it at this time in your life, but people at this stage in their lives are incredibly self-involved and often, empathy and understanding are last on the totem pole, so while my first reaction is Bad Friend!, I think it is hard for others who are not having the struggles to understand where you are coming from. I was guilty of this in middle school, rolling my eyes at a friend who asserted that she was suicidal. Anyway, your friend doesn't even understand that it's an illness and that anxiety is exactly exaggerated feelings--but based on chemicals not a flair for the melodramatic or a ploy to get attention.
I believe you should be open with whoever you feel you can trust, and you DO need to tell someone you're in over your head, and you're NOT fine, or you don't feel fine, and need more support. Don't assume one insensitive friend's reaction will be everyone's reaction.
I understand your concern about being treated with kid gloves. In terms of not sounding needy, I would just be straightforward, say this isn't affecting your performance in class issue or how you're treated, this is a outside class, personal concern that you feel you needed to come to an adult for for processing and guidance. Might sound babyish but I think it signals better to adults where the concern is coming from--it's saying you trust her to help point you in the right direction on a very stressful period, I think, nothing more or less.
It sounds like the teacher will care, but understand and prepare yourself for the likelihood that she is also not equipped or trained to handle psychological health concerns. She will likely refer you to a guidance counselor or a school psychologist if you have one and I'm sure she'll also encourage you to look to your parents for greater support.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 March 2014):
 P.S. I'm fairly certain that your parents would rather you tell them your situation rather than have you hide the truth. It's that weird thing parents do. They care about their children's health and well-being. :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 March 2014):
The best thing is to tell your parents.
I know it's probably not what you want to do.
But if it's this much of a concern and problem for you, you will need a bit of extra help….
Be brave!
Ask your parents for help!
:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2014): You can write your teacher a short note. Hand it to her in a sealed envelope. Do not go into great detail; because it isn't any of her business, and will not get you special treatment. You don't want special treatment. Just for the teacher to understand; so not to draw attention to you when you might seem a little off. It doesn't matter what the other students notice. Don't let that bother you.
For example:
Dear Mr/Ms. Teacher,
I sometimes seem a little anxious, but not to worry. I would appreciate if you wouldn't alert the class when it happens. It's under control.
I'm okay.
Thank you,
Your name
Sometimes personal information offered to the wrong people can be misunderstood, or poorly handled. All your teacher needs to know is that you're fine, and the less attention you receive from the people around you; the better you'll be able to handle it.
It may be a good idea to have your parents send a note to the school psychologist; who may be able to calm you if there is a crisis. You can be excused to seek help, if you aren't able to manage a panic attack.
Sometimes it's normal stress; which can resemble an attack.
I know your therapist has offered you exercises that help you to manage, but schoolwork can get to anyone. So do the best that you can. Teachers know about these things.
If she stops you to talk about it; just say, you just wanted her not to worry about anything. Don't say anything else. If you are totally upset, ask to be excused. Don't expect that to happen in the middle of a test, or everyday.
That might disrupt normal class activities. If normal classes are 45 minutes to an hour. You'll probably make it.
See your therapist when episodes increase. That means you may be in need of treatment. You may be under too much stress.
I'm so proud to hear you work so hard to control it. Good for you!
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