A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I talk to my boyfriend about my abortion? It was a mutual decision that now was not the time, however we've been rowing a lot since. When we sat down to talk earlier today we realized we were both so raw after whats happened.We are usually very close and can tell each other anything but recently we barely sit in the same room. I want to have a heart to heart with him and get all of our feelings out there so we can move forward but were do we start?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice, i took on all the advice and we stayed up all night talking. were going to try counselling. Thankyou so much x
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 You start by just telling him that you want to talk to him about it. Tell him and make it explicitly clear that you don't intend to argue, you just want to tell him about everything you feel and for him to do the same. If you feel that it is turning into another argument, just stop and take a while to breathe and cool down before you talk again. Make sure he listens to you and make sure you listen to him.
An abortion is a big thing and it can breed a lot of disappointment and doubt so expect either one of you to be a little irritable or sensitive to what the other is saying. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 I honestly think you two should go to counseling together. Abortions can hurt a relationship to the point of breaking up even when the decision is made together. It is something that can be hard to cope with and sometimes you may regret the decision after even though you still don't want a child yet. Couples counseling would allow you two to talk with a neutral third party together and separately. He may not want to tell you certain things out of fear but a counselor can find a diplomatic way to approach it. Other than that, I don't have any suggestions. I hope you two can work through this.
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