A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m not very religious. But my last boyfriend of a little less than 2years was very religious. Because of that, we didn’t have sex. We broke up just under 2 months ago. I’m seeing a guy that I go to college with. His name is Martin and he is not a virgin. Although he really tries to be understanding and go slower than he normally would out relationship is still progressing too fast for me. He wouldn’t ever intentionally pressure me into something but I still feel pressured when I’m with him. I want to confront him but how do I do it without making it sound like he’s being a jerk when I know he’s not doing it intentionally? Am I just over reacting?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 You just need to talk to him. I don't know exactly what you should say, you're the better judge of that. You mentioned things he does that unintentionally puts pressure on you. Just tell him what things, and say it as it is: you know he's not doing it to put pressure on you, but you feel pressure still. So you need to work around this and find a good way to interact that works for the both of you.
I have no idea if you're being unreasonable or not as you don't say how long you and this new guy have been dating, if you're already in an official relationship, what things it is he does, what's considered too fast for you etc.
However I personally feel that two months after a breakup is too soon to enter a new relationship. Often you will still be emotionally too hurt to enter a new relationship and give of yourself to the degree you need to.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 No, you're not over reacting. And he is doing it intentionally.
Have you spoken to him and told him what you've told us? Does he know that you haven't had sex in a while? You need to speak to him so he knows where you stand, otherwise he's going to keep pressuring you.
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