A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a guy I've known for some time last year just after my marriage break up.We discussed becoming exclusive and he said it was too soon after my break up and it wouldn't work. Over the last month we have been seeing each other again,(now 13 months since my break up) I didn't feel hung up on him like I had last year but now the more I see him the more I think I would like a relationship with him. He has said things like he thinks I'm hot etc. last week I lost my license (he also doesnt have a license) and he made the comment that in 6 weeks time when I loose it and go for a restricted that I could travel to his place earlier stay the night and then travel back (in my restricted hours) it seems to be a lot more comfortable than it was last year. I would like to talk to him about becoming exclusive with out scaring him off and look like I'm pushing or rushing him. What should I say? Does it sound like he may be more serious this time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 For him to make the decision for you and decide that it is too soon FOR YOU to be exclusive is being pretty bold. The last I knew, that would be YOUR decision to decide if it is too soon for you.
What I would tell him is probably something you probably will not like. Here is what I would tell him:
"I am looking for an exclusive relationship and would like to be exclusive with you. What do you think about that?" If he makes excuses, makes decisions for you, tells you what your feelings are, or otherwise puts you off and does not answer the question, I would move on. He pretty well dismissed your feelings the first time you talked about it, so my feeling is that he is not interested.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 No it doesn't sound like he is more serious about having a relationship with you...maybe more serious about having sex with you!!
There is a saying that goes:
'Never make someone a priority if they only see you as an option'
This guy sees you as an option that he does not want to commit to...he's made excuses and nothing will change because he already has things the way he wants.
You are losing your heart to someone who isn't that serious about you so I'd be very reluctant to hop in the sack or start staying over unless he says 'We are together'
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