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How do I stop the drifting apart relationship between my father and I?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 November 2010)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 18 and for the past year or so, I feel as if I am drifting from my dad and attempting to reconcile the relationship is becoming difficult.

My dad left when I was only a few years old due to having an affair with my now step mother. 5 years ago, they had their first child together. I feel resentful towards my half sister because she has both of her parents and will not experience what I am feeling. Because she is an only child, she is spoilt and controlling. And whenever I saw my dad and tried to have a conversation with him, she would always interrupt, so I feel as if there is a case of sibling rivalry and she wants attention.

Nearly two months ago, my dad invited me over for lunch. She mentioned to me about how our dad used to be married to my mother and he left for her mother. Although she's very young, I was very upset by this. Because I don't see my dad on a regular basis I feel that I cannot confide in him and tell him whats going on in my life which is why I feel that I am drifting away from him and feel as if I don't know him that well.

I've recently moved out and started university and currently living near my dad's workplace. Before I moved, I thought that this would be a great chance for some quality time. But because his job is demanding we haven't been able to meet up much, we've only met up once within two months and it was for only 20 minutes.

I really don't know what to do. I feel terrified about telling him that I feel this way, despite him being my father. I don't feel he is supporting me much either or that he has given me much encouragement since I've started univeristy. It almost feels as if he isn't even around.

What should I do?

View related questions: affair, moved out, university, workplace

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (3 November 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntYou call him and tell him that you urgently need to talk to him. For whatever amount of time you have to meet him, make it a priority to get this off your chest. You are drifting a part and it is HIS responsibility to meet you halfway on this. He has to make an effort because you are his daughter. If he is anything like a decent father, he would have already sensed this occuring anyway, if he has not, I suspect there is little more you can do other than try. Good luck.

I hope that helps.

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