A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello Agony Aunts. I've been talking to this guy online for the past couple of months. We get along great. Him and I message and call each other. I can tell he likes me.We live really far from each other. But talk on a daily basis. I've started to notice that I like him a LOT. And I can't seem to stop obsessing over him. My question is how do I keep it cool and not obsess over him so much? Thank you in advance. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): Get a new hobby, distract yourself with the real world, friends, family.
Keep busy make him less of a priority
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): You're becoming addicted to messaging, and he's building an imaginary online character that you've fallen for. How many times have you actually met this guy and spent time together?
Obsession is a strong word. It means you've become irrationally-infatuated; and your fixation on this guy is getting out of control. You need to find more constructive things to do with your time; and need a strong dose of reality to stabilize your feelings. He is no doubt feeding you a lot of things you like to hear, and his flow of messages is keeping you "high." You're now realizing your behavior is not sensible. So if you're cognizant of the fact, you're not too far gone. I understand. Perhaps you're starved for attention; and he has offered you a good supply.
Is he sending you a lot of romantic sweet-talk and paying you tons of compliments? Has he been telling you how crazy he is about you; but never has made one attempt to meet you after this much time? Either you haven't dated much or you may be a tad immature. Seems he's taking advantage of your loneliness. Two whole months is a long-time to not once meet in a public place; just to get to know each other in a more personal way. You need to see if he is what he claims to be.
Get a grip, girlfriend! You may have just created something in your imagination about him that he can't live up to.
Stop the madness and breakaway for a while. You really have allowed yourself to get caught up in fantasy; and he has gotten away with not offering to put a face to his words.
You really need to get out more. Obsessing is not healthy, and he just may be aware there is something a little off, and could take advantage of it. If you can't breakaway on your own, please seek some help; or ask someone close to you to help you pull it back together. It's not healthy behavior to fixate on anyone; let alone someone you really haven't met. It's an imaginary figure you obsess over, rather than the person himself.
Even if you've met, obsessing is unhealthy behavior; and you still need time away from him to pull it together. With and without professional help.
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A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (22 September 2015):
 I've gone through this a million times! The only thing that helps me is picking up hobbies and hanging out with my friends and family. I know it's a great feeling to be so enamored by a guy you speak to everyday, but you have to make sure you are still living your life and not revolving it around your crush. Good luck!
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