A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: this isn't a relationship question, but maybe someone can help me. as silly as it sounds...i am addicted to my cell phone. it's been an on-again, off-again (mostly on-again) issue for the past six years; since i was in college. i've hesitated to call it an addiction for the longest time because for one thing, it seems so trivial and stupid compared to things like drug and alcohol addictions. for another thing, calling it an addiction makes me feel ashamed of myself. but hindsight is 20/20, and mine is showing me that an addiction is probably the best thing to call it. it's not so terrible that i absolutely cannot function, but it definitely does interfere with my life more than it should. it distracts me at work and takes away from time that i should be paying attention to my husband and dog. some days, i hardly think about it...but there are also times when i intend to just quickly check the phone and go on about my day...only to end up getting completely engrossed in my phone and wasting time. does anyone have any suggestions on how i can get rid of this problem? i know it's most likely not going to happen overnight, but i really would like it to happen quickly. any help is greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 July 2016):
First off, delete all the apps on your phone that you use for entertainment purposes. ALL. That will be the hard one.
Secondly, put your phone in your drawer and lock it at work. IF you need to make calls regarding work, I'm sure you have a land-line you can use.
Then ALLOT yourself some time to taking it out for lunch and reply to personal texts etc. Don't forget to eat though.
If you want to do Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or whatnot when you get home get on a tablet/computer for that, again ALLOT yourself an hour to do it. (set a timer) and then PUT it down and get other things done. Hang out with the partner, cook together, eat together, watch a movie together, take the dog for a nice long walk with your husband.
I have to say for a while was quite addicted to Candy Crush... (yes, lame - I know) I ended up deleting the app on my phone AND tablet. If it's not there... readily available, it's kind of out of mind out of sight.
You might also, like me, have an addictive personality. I don't really do things in moderation if it's something that gets my blood going. For instance.. I stay far away from Casinos. I know I would find it very hard to stop gambling once I got started. I have timers on my online games (which I have played on/off for almost 13 years ). My "chores" are on a schedule too, that way they GET done.
We ALL like some fantasy, some escapism - however it might also land you very much alone if you don't pay attention, so it's a good thing that you are aware of the problem.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (6 July 2016):
Change your phone to an old style Nokia that doesn't get the internet. You can still get calls. The other thing to do is leave your phone at home. Yes people can survive without one. The truth is like all addictions you have to really hate it to give it up.
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A
male
reader, DarrellG +, writes (6 July 2016):
I dont think it is silly. People can be addicted to pretty much anything and with smartphones etc I would be surprised that if we were being totally honest we couldnt and shouldnt say that more people are addicted to their phones.
As with any addiction the trick is to resstablish control over your life and control over your addiction because right now it obviously controls you. You have taken the first step, which is good, you have admitted there is a problem. So the next thing to do is take back control.
What are you getting engrossed in on your phone? Social media? Games? Apps? If so, I would say take the plunge and delete the apps. If its social media you can still check it when you go online on a laptop/pc and the same thing with games/apps. If you delete the apps though you remove that aveneue to get an instant hit and restrict your access a bit because rather than being able to take your phone out of your pocket, you have to sit down and turn on PC/laptop etc.
When you can feel yourself getting engrossed stop yourself. Make the mental effort to be in control. Its your mind, y0ur thoughts, your actions so you are the one in control and you always have to remember that. If none of these steps work try and seek therepy because another thing you need to do is get to the root of this addiction, the whys and the wherefores of why you behave this way. Are you bored with your current life? Is there an issue in the real, non-phone world that you are seeking to escape from/avoid dealing with? I dont know and youd have to tell me more about it for me to be able to decide but either way there is a root here and you need to take that out as well.
Be confident and brave, you have taken the first step, which is the hardest and from here on its not exactly plain sailing but it will get easier and easier. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (6 July 2016):
The more you rush it, the more likely it is to fail. Take it slow. If you can, turn it off at work. Turn it on st lunch. Then turn it off when you start work again and back on when you're about to leave (for safety reasons). If that's too much, turn it off for the first 2 - 4 hours of work and don't turn it on any sooner. Unless walking home or at home, put it away in your bag or drawer, *not* in your pocket or in sight.
Get an app to monitor your phone usage; knowing how much time you're on it should help you want to lessen it.
Well done for realising it is an addiction.
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