A
female
age
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*ralee
writes:Thank you in advance to all who read and respond to my question. I have a male cousin who is a good enough guy I guess. Our association has been primarily through facebook for the last few years and I always send him a Christmas gift at Christmas.He is currently single as he and his male partner split some years ago. My sense is that he periodically goes into a bit of a depression and my cousins, well everybody rushes to rescue him. On the other hand he has always been kind to me. I find his behavior confusing though. He constantly puts on facebook that he is coming to see me and I believe he has told my cousin that I never see him when I am in his city. The truth is that I have tried on various occasions and he never was available. Also he has said he has plans to come to my moms funeral, the scattering of her ashes and it never happened.When my mom passed there was no one who came from that side of the family...a lot of pretty words but no follow through.I sent an email asking him when he would be free this summer and I did not hear back. I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie but I sent another one saying I found his behaviour confusing with the promises and no follow through. He emailed me back and said I was rude. I find this strange and hurtful. He is all but ignoring me on facebook but making a big deal of paying attention to my sister who I secretly think she would be somewhat pleased I committed this faux pas so she can make herself look better with my surviving aunt and uncle and cousins.All the sympathy will be with him but all I was trying to do was have him down for a visit.Should I write this relationship off?If not how do I reconnect and repair this and how do I repair the relationship with my aunt and uncle and other siblings if I am estranged from him.I am hurt I guess.
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reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (6 July 2016):
 If the relationship is important to you perhaps email him again with a brief message that you are disappointed that he interpreted your email as an attack and in hindsight picked up the phone. Apologise if you must and let him know when you will be calling, or ask him when a good time would be, and that you would like for him to receive your call to sort it out with him. Sign off with I'll leave the ball in your court type of thing. If he responds positively great if not, well not much more you can do. If he wants to be a princess...
Good luck
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reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 July 2016):
 I would just stop making a big deal out of this guy. He is all talk, no action.
And I don't think it was a faux pas to call him out on his crap, he just didn't like to be reminded about it, hence his snotty remarks back. You kept it OFF Facebook, which was the right thing to do.
Now you KNOW what kind of person he is, so leave him be.
You ask how you can repair the relationship with his side of the family... Easy, TALK to them, visit them - show them that you are NOT all talk no action.
As for him now favoring your sister... well, so far she hasn't called him on his BS so she is now golden.. But really, he might be family.. but seriously... not worth the work.
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