A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My dad hit me and my brother when we were very young. When he was angry because we had been talking too loudly or because we disagreed with him. My brother (13) has punched me twice in the last week just because he was annoyed, this is exactly what our dad used to do to us. Even though I'm a year older he always used to try and protect me from him so he took more beats than me and we're very close.I can't tell our mom because she always use to condone the violence and used to say we shouldn't annoy our dad so she wouldn't do anything anyway. What can I say/do to make sure he doesn't become a monster like our dad was.I'm 14 and his sister
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): look your brother in the eye and tell him to stop hitting you.
Be histerical about it and emphasise how wrong it is. You need to get the message into his thick head that he cant go around hitting people, when he feels like it.
He is starting down a very dark and unhappy path. He needs to see what he is doing and how it is affecting you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): Sounds like if you tell your Mom it would not do any good.. Somtimes it's a easier road to block certain things, than to deal with them... (One day, she will regret her actions)
Why you should take my advice: I had a Mom who sounds like your Dad, I rember all the maskes/ skeletons in my closet that I was worred would be found out...
As an adult 32 years young (ok, I did find my 1st grey hair last night)lol... I am nothing like either of my parents -I am me.. Back around your BRO"s age I had a temper b/c I had so much going on and no outlet.. It took me finding a good role model.
Now the 2nd reason my xhubby (I left him b/c he became abusive to my son, and me)
My sons dad is still an abuser, my child is 9.. As I have raised him it's felt like that movie (Little Nickey) I am spreading rainbows / butterflys... lol it does...
So theres my back ground...
My advice is what was told to me by my role model and I ran with it.. I really think it was how she approched me - and the example she set..... (key point)
Even though you make think your Bro wont listen to you he will, but* you are going to have to watch your approach and also show your maturity, and also your vulnrability..
As example - when he hits your arm stay calm dont get mad, walk away then after a bit sit down with him and talk to hi m on what you feel when your Dad hurts you both and when he hit your arm how it made you feel also..
You both have each other, that's more than some...
Start with the mind set in this crazy life, I choose my life.. B/C trust me you do..
When you both leave there and even there - it's still like that... Even though it don't seem like that-
When your out of there - boom - you can choose what path to take... Anyhoo Good Luck and rember you choose your path -
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): Please tell your mum or at least an adult that you trust. This is a horrible situation for you and you just should not be in it! Your brother needs to realise that he cant get away with this behaviour and that you certainly dont deserve to be treated like this.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (18 March 2010):
 It sounds like you two have had a hard time and things such as violence in a family can affect everyone in different ways. Your brother may need profesional help to deal with what has happened, is there an adult you can talk to such as a teacher or friend that could help you with this?
What you can do is talk to him, about how he feels about your dad and what he did, and then tell him that he is doing similar things to your dad BUT you know he is NOT the same as him and he can change his behaviour now and you can forget it ever happened.
I hope this helps and please ask any questions that you need answering before you speak to him or anyone else.
=]
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 March 2010):
Tell your mum. She might respond differently to it being your brother. Failing that, look at your brother and tell him that he is beating you like your own father did. Failing that, you must call an abuse line and tell them you are being hit by your brother and no one will stop it.
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