A
male
age
30-35,
*833s
writes: Its been two weeks after a 6 week relationship.We agreed to still be friends and it was a possibility we'd get back together. But the past two weeks I've started being extremely clingy and have text her loads. Including texts like 'i miss you'. I feel like Ive destroyed any chance of us getting back together. I've had a history of being clingy but i thought this was going to be different as I was never this clingy when we were together .It seems i sabotage every possible relationship and its getting a real problem. I need advice fast.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 November 2010):
I feel like we all make this mistake at some point until we learn from it. We text how much we miss and want to be with that person, sees that it gets us nowhere and it is embarrassing, then we move on and learn. I remember with my first boyfriend when we broke up I wouldn't stop calling or texting. Just how much I loved him and everything. He probably got the biggest ego boost. Now it's kind of funny, embarrassing still, but funny. Fast forward 4 years and I've learned my lesson. My last 2 break ups I initiated no contact after stating my piece when breaking up (just so I can feel closure). It works out great in 2 ways- One it helps you get over them faster than if you were constantly talking and getting shut down. Two- they don't think you are crazy and sitting around crying all the time, even if you are. Calling constantly after a break up will embarrass yourself and push the person away farther. Stop doing it with this girl and learn from the mistake.
I am a clingy person as well. My clinginess usually doesn't show up until it has been awhile and I truly care for that person, then I get super attached. It used to terrify me to date and really fall for someone since so many had run away, seemingly from that reason. But I realized you will meet someone you are compatible with who truly loves you. And they won't go anywhere and can handle such things, so don't worry much. Just make sure not to jump into things too fast, go slow and don't cling too much too soon. And if you break up, don't call! You will get better the more relationships you have. Just don't think because your relationship didn't work out that you won't ever meet someone who will. Be yourself and you will be fine.
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