A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm afraid I come across as a clingy/ desperate person to this guy I'm dating. I don't have much experience and he's aware of this but I still don't want to make some major mistakes and annoy him. He initially asked to meet up and we have had a few dates now and already agreed on keeping on having them... He seems to like me, he's even said so, I'm quite shy when we are face-to-face but then again I tend to sometimes text him in a too 'attached' manner. He always replies me (at least after 2 texts but I send 2 in a row rarely, only if I change the subject) and is very sweet to me but when I realised I might come across as too 'available' and clingy I freaked out and stopped contacting him. There's been one day now without any contact and I guess that's fine but I do wonder what he's thinking. He said himself he needs reassuring in the sense if he gets a bad vibe he won't contact me fearing he's freaked me out (this happened at least once and he was glad when I called him and sorted it out).
View related questions:
shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Don't play games by trying to seem aloof and distant, you sound like you may be giving him the impression you're not interested. As long as you are being conscious of how often you text and talk you are probably not in a whole lot of danger of becoming clingy. He's obviously into you.
Clingy only happens when the other person decides it is. I'd say most of the time clingy happens either when one party senses the other is pulling away and tries to cling tighter to hold onto them, or when one party is losing interest and all amounts of contact seem overwhelming/irritating. It's rarely just some accidental thing that happens in a vacuum.
From what you've said you sound like you're way more in danger of scaring him off from being too aloof than from being too clingy. If you both want to see each other and are both into each other, he wants to see and hear from you. So long as it feels about even in who contacts the other first you'll be fine.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Maybe it's best not to send 2 texts in a row, when dating, as women sometimes play hard to get as always the best way to go about it. If you seem too interested sometimes men can think your handing yourself over on a plate. Try and contact him less, does he ever contact you first? Maybe send him one or two texts a day, just asking how he is. Always make sure to start and end the conservation on a good vibe, as if not, (like he said) It could scare him away, or make him wonder if somethings wrong. I really wouldn't worry about it too much however, a lot of guys, (unless its like a text every couple of minutes or 20 phone calls a day) find it cute, especially when things first start up. I remember when i first got with my boyfriend. My whole day would be revolved around waiting to go home, to go on facebook, and just talk to him, i thought i was being clingy, however it seems like he used to think the same as when i got home i already had about 5 messages waiting for me. Good Luck xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): I think being clingy and being in touch is different things. You text him, that's fine, it doesn't mean it to be clingy. It's not that you are overbearing.
I think you are over thinking thing it, take it easy
...............................
|
