A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I come from two very different backgrounds, she's from a religious family who don't accept homosexuality, I come from a family who support gay rights. She was talking to me the other day and said that she was scared she might be gay, and that she couldn't tell anyone. None of her other friends wanted to hear about it when she brought the subject up, but she remembered how strongly I feel towards gay rights and turned to me. I explained to her that her happiness should come first, not what her family wants. I told her she would always be the same person to me, and that she shouldn't worry, gay or straight. My problem is, she's a very timid person and I'm worried that, coming from a Muslim family, she won't be able to tell her parents if she is gay. I really need to help her see that being a lesbian isn't a bad thing, and need to tell her that if she is gay, she's still the same person I cant just let her be unhappy. I need to help her! Thankyou.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 I think you've already helped her a lot, just by being her friend and accepting her for who she is, and being someone she can talk to about these things.
I would tell her that as for now, she should not worry about possibly being gay. It is normal for teenagers to be curious about sex and gender roles, and to experiment with what they like. This is all part of figuring out who you are and what you want. She does not have to make up her mind about being gay or not, these things can take years before you finally figure out what you are and want. And, it can also fluctuate, that right now she likes girls a bit more than boys, but maybe later she will like boys more than girls. Until she has fallen in love with someone, and until she is about to enter a relationship with someone, there is no need to put a label on one self. She does not have to decide if she is lesbian or not, not until she actually falls in love with someone and wants to have a relationship with them.
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