A
female
age
41-50,
*ecilk26
writes:i have the most amazing girlfriend in the world,we have been together a year and a half and i love her to bits but lately her past lovers is getting to me, when i met her i had very little sexual experience, she has lots, she has had a relationship before and the thought of sumbody else with her before me is really driving me crazy, she has contemplated leaving me because of my jealousy and i really dont want to losse her, i want to marry her sumday but i just can stop feeling jealous, i want to be the first and only man she has been with, please help me stop feeling like this before i loose her for good very soon, i am 27, she is 21
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, df30  +, writes (26 January 2010):
Man I want to say I understand where your coming from I used to scroll these blogs in search of answers or something. It tore me up. My gf has been the best thing thats ever happened to me and has only had 2 sexual experiences before me. not a big deal. shes 19 im 21. But over the course of the two years before me she messed around with 15 guys. I'm pretty conservative and that shocked me. It seemed to change that cute little innocent girl I met. Thats mistake number one, don't assume that she isn't real, shes still that awesome girl. I can't say i'm so innocent i messed with 7 girls before her. So I was stuck in knowing how great she is for me but hating and feeling like i wasn't special like she was to me. mistake number two you are specialm I'm sure shes told you that and you know its true. I talked with her about the issue i was having a couple times and i could see how much it hurt her and I could feel myself shrinking from the studly man she used to think I was. I hated myself for that feeling and hated the way I was. But don't give up. Those feeling wouldn't be there if you didn't love her. How I got over it?... I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness. for god to forgive me for hurting my baby and second for strength to put aside and understand her past and how it made her who she is. Those thoughts slowly diminished and for the last couple months I've been happy. If you love her as you say do this for yourself but more importantly have the strength to beat this for her sake. Shes worth that. Remember its not who was before you, but who will come after your gone that will hurt far worse. Hope I helped man don't ruin a good thing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): hi i was the same with my husband it took me a long time to realise that the past doesnt matter u need to try not let it get to u it will go eventually concentrate on u 2 now and not wat happened before or it can send u in a downward spiral
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A
female
reader, Happivibes  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi, jealousy is not easy to deal with but you must remember that you are the person she has chosen to be with, she is not with someone else she is with you. You cant change her past, you must accept that herpast is part of what makes her the person she is today, and that she loves and cares for you. The quickest way to turn someone away from you is by asking them to change something they cannot!
It is a complement to you that she has chosen to be with you, dont make her feel bad about what has gone before.This will eventually drive you apart. When you start to think about her past sexual experience, sya to yourself, well it cant have been that wonderful because she didnt stay with that other person.
love is an action not a feeling ... in other words its being mature and big enough to accept someone as they are...not as you want them to be!accepting the one you love despite all that has gone before
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