A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is that when my boyfriend watches porn, im supposed to be ok with it, but when I want to have my own me-time its totally wrong?I've never had a problem with a little porn for him, ever since we moved in together he'll watch it when im on my period and oral isn't enough, or when I go up to visit my mom which is rare (sorry mom.) Other than that he's all mine, and we keep a busy schedule so no time for porn.On other occations, when were mad, we will sleep in seperate rooms, he'll watch his porn, and he puts it on loud, maybe to get me more mad. But he knows that I'll do it to, heck I pay the damn cable bill and I pay for the porn channel as well, so I'll switch on a good channel and get out mr. Dependable and my bf goes nuts. Is it the porn or the vibrator that drives the man crazy? I've asked him myself but he won't give me an answer, instead he will tell me "just go f**k yourself if you prefer it so much," always acting like a victim, and my response always is "well seems u had a pretty good night as well."If he would stay in the room well I wouldn't need to please myself now would I, but as well as guys have needs so do us women.Its pretty funny to me, but I don't understand what's his big deal. So men I need ur help on this one, if its the vibrator, fine I'll leave it, if its the porn well its not fair, then I guess he has to leave it as well. If its both I don't mind, heck I prefer the real thing anyways.Thank you!
View related questions:
moved in, period, porn, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): I agree with Diovan completely. Screw him (figuratively) and his problem with you using your vibrator. It's not like you're going to the next house to boink the neighbor. Also, what's with the different bed thing when you have an argument? Perhaps a lot of couples do that, but neither my first wife nor my current partner / wife of 29 years have ever done that. I guess if it works for you then it's fine. We still sleep together, but no nookie for me that night. :(
You have as much right as he does to watch porn or masturbate. I don't see the problem, except insecurity, as Uncle Phil said. If a guy thinks that you would rather have a vibrator than him, then he needs to examine his confidence. If you would rather use a vibrator than have him, then it is most likely because he doesn't do enough to satisfy you. At least in most cases in my opinion.
Basically, I applaud you for being tolerant of the porn, as my wife is. She sometimes watches with me. He needs to be tolerant of you and your vibrator. I don't think you should give it up when you want to use it and I don't think he should give up his porn. That is assuming that nrither of you ignore the other when you are in the mood.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Interesting. I, too, once had a boyfriend who was jealous of my vibrator! Which, I only used sometimes and we had a good sex life. He just hated it. Yet, every man I've been with who used porn (not all them did) expected me to just go with it. And I did, until it became compulsive. No man or woman should have to put up with that. But if you want your toys sometimes, go for it. Don't become a victim to the double standard.
...............................
A
female
reader, thinky2  +, writes (17 September 2008):
Hmm, maybe the men whose partners object to their porn use secretly enjoy the fuss - it means they're topdog. On the other hand, you've made him feel he has a competitor.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): LOL.. Teehee...LOL.. sorry babes, it's not fair for me to laugh, but come on... DOUBLE STANDARDS, big time... LOL
It's the vibrator that drives him crazy, your kitty cat belongs to him, and he feels jealous of a pretend thing. You are so refreshing, you are a very wise young lady. So many women have a problem with porn and drive themselves crazy, but you don't, you just put on a video, whip out a toy and go and enjoy yourself, whilst he calms down. Good for you... Well done in living your life and making yourself happy in your own way... Damn, I've got to take of my hat again.. your the third lady who I've met that deserves this respect.
I believe in compromises, if it really bothers him, you could put away the toy, but stuff him, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, sooner or later he's gonna learn to behave because your driving him mad, and he's wondering why you don't collapse with tears and beg him to come back to bed.. I love it, your great...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you waz for being on my side.
I don't think its fair that he's allowed and im not. im not threatend by it whatsoever. But he seems to be the one with the problem.
Sometimes I'll go into the room and initiate sex, so that way we'll have no problem, but when im really mad that I won't make the first approach, hoping he will, then I only depend on myself =). Thank you.
...............................
|
