A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 and my best friend is having a baby in a few days, we've been closer than sisters since we were 14 and I was there with her when she found out she was pregnant. I even bought the pregnancy test for her lol! But coming closer to her due date, I'm finding myself being overcome by this overwhelming desire to be pregnant. I cant stop thinking about it. I see pregnant women everywhere I look, and babies. Its probably normal to feel this way, but I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I've been with my bf for nearly a year and there's no way I'm going to be having one soon, plus I know I'm too young and i have so much to do before I have a child. And financially its not ideal right now. But this desire is just too hard to ignore. Does anyone else feel this way? How do I settle this feeling? I think its understandably freaking my bf out :(
View related questions:
be pregnant, best friend, pregnancy test Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 You deal with it the same way you do any time you have an impulse that 's not that smart. When you are tempted to exceed the speed limits, to get drunk, to eat a whole cake by yourself, to buy something you can't afford, to slap hard your bf who's making you mad :
You remind yourself that's not such a good idea. Really not such a good idea,- it can't be done.
Of course your is a "natural " desire..., then ? Not all that's natural is necessarily good, wise, appropriate,healthy or life-improving.
Violence and prevarication are natural. Promiscuity is natural.
Selfishness is natural. Impulsivity is natural, greed is natural.
Luckily, they invented impulse control, and delayed gratification. We don't HAVE to do anything we feel like doing in the moment we feel it, we can postpone it to a more appropriate time, context and occasion.
Even the most natural things in the world, urinating and defecating, are subject to considerations of right timing ,location and opportunity !
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Well, the only way to satisfy it is to have a baby.
Until you have one, you will feel like this.
Sorry ... just Nature at work. Your body couldn't give a stuff about money/age/etc. ... it just wants to do what is its most basic survival reflex ... reproduce itself.
In a lot of (European) cultures, 22 isn't too young. In central and E.Europe, for example, it is perfectly normal.
Maybe you should re-think whether it really is that impossible.
I for one will be happy if my daughter has her children in her twenties - even early twenties. Children make you grow up, and are, I think, good for you. They also give you the security of your own young family. I don't think you should just write it off as a bad idea ... because to be honest, until you do have a baby, you will just be somehow seeking that, and you won't be happy.
Don't be scared of having a baby. It isn't such a big deal. It is life-enriching. It's lovely.
...............................
A
female
reader, neomum +, writes (11 September 2011):
Lol. I do know how you feel I was there at 16 when my sister was pregnant but I was lucky I didn't have a boyfriend but I did grow up fast as she abandend her son 2 days after he was born so my mum and me took him in. I did all the night feeds so I vowed never to have my own kids until I was married and truely loved and 10yrs later I had my first kid. My sister did want her son back when the hard work was over. So my advice is to help your friend by taking the little one out so she can sleep and think how lucky you are by being able to hand the child back.
...............................
|
