A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am a male sophmore 16 years old in southern california and i am upset because my english teacher 23 yrs old(teacher in training) is leaving beacause she has completed her training. She is extremley attracitive and even called me her best freind no joke. She stares at me and always talks to me about her personal life. The problem is that ive latley been noticing her flirting with me more often. But she is leaving this friday it is sunday and i am trying to figure out if i should write her a thank you note/crush note. She loves football and i play for my highschool shes always asking me how was practice and my games. I am wondering if i should give her a note before she leaves forever and if i should leave my number is she wants to throw the football or hangout sometime? I know u guys are thinking yeah right but trust me i am almost a hundred percent sure she would love this. Help me out with some advice please thank you
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Well if you are so sure she would love to hang out with you (and risk losing her job and her livelihood and chosen profession) go ahead and give her the note.
IF she is wise she will be flattered and that will be the end of it... then you can write to us and ask "why didn't she call me? I thought she was interested". it's her JOB to make all kids feel supported and important.
see the problem is you see this through 16 yr old eyes... I see it through 53 year old eyes...
at 17 I had a mad crush on my 22 yr old english teacher. I'm pretty sure he had a mad crush back on my 17 yr old self... but NOTHING ever came of it and nothing SHOULD have come from it. I recently read his obituary... he died way too young... and I cried... note my crush was in 1977 and I found out he died in 2013 and I still cried. Crushes as teens on teachers are VERY powerful.
Kids having crushes on teachers is as old as teachers have existed... and will continue until we die out as a race of beings... it's normal and natural for kids to crush on teaches.
It's also normal and natural for teachers to try to let you down easy... asking about your practice and your games does not mean she wants to play a game with you or that she's interested in you as anything but a student.
and to be honest, if she is, then she's not a stable adult mature woman... NO adult should want to be FRIENDS with a teenager... a MENTOR yes.. but NOT friends.
A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (4 November 2013):
 Send a totally platonic thank you note.
Let her know you appreciated her work and her friendship.
That's it.
Do not include your number or an invitation to hang out.
If it's meant to be she'll come back into your life at some point...when she is a little older.
Even if it's "legal" for her to date you in her state (and honestly, I don't know if it is there or not) it wold still be inappropriate. In fact, it could be unethical on her part and it would damage her career. If you really like her, I'm sure you wouldn't want to jeopardize her career and her future in education.
A thank you note would be a nice show of appreciation, but I would leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 November 2013):
Going back to my 23-year old self (only 6-years ago) I would probably consider it flattering that a 16-year old boy looks up to me...BUT, I would not be interested in anything more.
You have to really think that it's not worth it to her to potentially lose her job or current prospects because of an inappropriate relationship with a student.
I think it's okay to write a thank you note because she was nice to you, but don't include anything about having a crush on her or include your phone number. It's okay to have a crush on someone, but in this case, it's probably best to keep it to yourself to avoid anything awkward or inappropriate.
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