A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear all, my question is plainly related to getting over my ex boyfriend. I had been in a relationship with this person for around 7-8 months. He asked me out out on 15th February 2013 and broke up with me on 12th October 2013. We were in a relationship for this time period. This relationship is one most painful experiences of my life. The way he sucked all my energy out of me, the way he hurt me emotionally, the way he tortured me mentally, I can't even describe over here. I am an ultra sensitive person and emotional imbalance actually kills me. Withing this time span, that person broke up several times just to come back again and again in my life. He dumped me badly and I think this is the final one as I never want him back once again. But I am scared the way he used me physically, financially and emotionally. Whatever I did for him was never enough for him. We were in a long distance relation and he blamed this relation for not working out properly. I tried, in fact, I tried a lot but that never enough for him. His friend insulted me said that my ex feels suffocated with me so I should leave. That person was already married once. But he left his wife for being illiterate after using her sexually for 6 years. That person was a selfish ex who sucked up all my life and energies outta me. Please guide me how to get over and move on with this trauma and live my life peacefully. I am just scared if he will come again and try to ruin my life again when I will be someone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): Sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. I have been there. It made a mess of me because I moved on too quickly, trying to fill the hole the abuse left with other relationships - my one piece of true advice is, please do not do this.Find a group of good, real girl and guy friends who will care for you. Spend time with your family members. Go back to before the relationship and think, what did I do to make myself happy before him? And do it! :DLike you, I have just got out of a relationship running over that same time period, and he was energy-sucking too. Sweetie, you're never alone. :)There's a good thing my mother told me... if you're feeling low, spend 30 minutes - and only 30 minutes - every day writing out your deepest feelings about all these problems, and then always try to bring your writing to a positive note at the end. Do this until you find you no longer have to.Ooh...another thing - helping others is one of the best ways to help yourself (that's why I love answering questions like yours! It helps both of us) Make a blog, agony aunt page, tumblr, something like this, and maybe help people with similar issues to help yourself get over your own.Just chill, love. You'll be fine. Lots of love. 3
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