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How do I respond to this friend who seems to be upset that I've become a happy stay at home mom?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently moved overseas with my husband. We hav a baby and i amcrrently a stay at home mom. Iv known this friend since childhood .we went to the same school and she was also my bridesmaid. We were not best friends but we were good friends and she used to be really kind. After i migrated here she migrated with her husband here as well.so i was so happy and wanted to be in touch since i am new to this cointry as well.but ever since she came here i felt she has changed.everytime i try to meet her she just avoids. Makes some excuse.but she hangs out with other friends. I was so confused and i decided to ask her if anythings wrong or if i hav done anything to offend her. She got all worked up and started saying im blaming her and i cant accuse her that she has changed.i only told her i felt a change and just want to clarify.i never accused her. She accused me of being a like a school girl and that i have gone crazy because i stay at home with my baby most of the time and i need to go out and get some air.she made me feel like an idiot.i thought i can open up with her but she clearly judged me. She also told me that we havent even met much for me to offend her and even back in our home country we havnt associated much (she was trying yo show that she never considered me as a close friend). But i have helped her so much in life even after coming here. She wanted to show me like i dont have any friends n i dont have a life simply because im a full time mom whereas i hav a few really close friends here too..she dioesnt have amy kids so she loafs everywhere with her friends and living life on the fast lane.but that doesnt give her the right to judge me and i told her tga t i am not acting like a school girl nor have i gone crazy kust becauase i stay at home with my baby because its a blessing to be able to look after your own baby.i am feeling so hurt over this because i know that she will go and tell all the other friends about this and i feel like i will be the joke around them when all i wanted to know was if eveythings ok between us.i feel like i became cheap to her.pls i would very much appreciate any advice as to how i should handle this situation.and she hasnt replied to my final msg explaining that its a blessing to be able to stay home and im not behaving like a school girl.i dont want this friendshio anymore either.thanks so much.se

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013):

You probably talk about your kids a lot, which is fine because you love them. However, people without kids usually do not want to talk about them. Other people's children are boring and it can be annoying when parents drone on about them especially if that is all they talk about.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntGuess it's time to accept that you two have out grown each other. You have become a mom with the focus on your family and she is who she is.

Just because she doesn't approve of your choice (to be a stay at home mom) doesn't give her the right to belittle you for your choice.

Friends like that are NOT friends. They are toxic people. Cut toxic people out of your life because they DRAIN you. They take take take and give nothing back.

Let her go. Stop trying to be her friend. It;'s a waste of time, find someone who are in the same place as you, who can support you and that you can support right back. She isn't one of those.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013):

I can understand how hurtful this is for you. Don't take it personal. The girl is miserable in her own skin. She wishes her life was as yours and so she is jealous of you. Her jealousy of you torments her and the only way she knows how to cope with it is to belittle you which in a dysfunctional way makes her feel better about herself. You see if she can make you eel terrible than you won't be as glamhe storous to her which in turn will lessen sting of her jealousy of you. It's s sad low self-esteem makes one a classless, gutter rat, tacky bitch. Keep the bug spray handybin case she surfaces near you.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (27 September 2013):

llifton agony auntWhat CMMP said. just ignore the bitch. You didn't do anything at all. Just forget about her and brush it off your shoulders. you're going to encounter all sorts of rude, obnoxious people in your life. She's just one of them. Just ignore her.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (27 September 2013):

mystiquek agony auntIts always sad when a friendship falls apart/ends but this is what has happened between the two of you. You made the mature actions and tried to talk to your friend and explain, and then reached out to her again. She didn't respond well and that is certainly not your fault. Did you ever consider that it all boils down to jealousy? Perhaps she is jealous of you having a child, being happy and staying at home? If I had to wager a guess, that's what I think her behavior is all about. I dont know her, and I could be way off. You've done all you can do though, and I wouldn't try any more. Sometimes people just drift apart and go their separate ways. Let the friendship end because she isn't being a friend anymore. Good luck!

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (27 September 2013):

How to handle what? A mean bitch? Avoid her and don't take a word she said personally, because she is, after all, a bitch.

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