A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This is quite a long story to begin with and to be honest im not exactly sure how to get over this guy in the slightest and it is breaking my heart. I am only 16 years of age yet the last 2 years my mind has been in turmoil with the fact that i simply can't get over this guy. So im writing this for help on how to overcome this problem as well as try and clear my mind.It all started back in 2010 when this girl i know R started going with this guy C and i thought nothing of it until he started texting me. It was obvious that he really had no interest in her but just used her because she was easy.However when he started texting me i was really reluctant to have anything to do with him as i knew what he was like. Despite this i fell for him and he battled to have me from march until may until i finally gave in and we ended up in a relationship. Much to the dislike of R and some of her friends , but at that stage i was too happy to care.Although our relationship only lasted 2 months he made me feel happy and he built my confidence up around guys. On the negative side he pressured me into doing stuff and i refused and this really annoyed me. I really liked him and considered doing stuff when i wasnt ready , just out of fear of losing him. Which sounds absolutely ridiculous right now cause ive come to realise two years later that a guy should like you for who you are and not what you put out.The relationship ended mid july and for the first day i was ecstatic, we had fallen out a few days previous and mutually decided to end it as we had a lot going on in our lives.The days following were very difficult and we didnt talk until 3 days later when i decided to rebound with B cause of my heartache. The worst thing was he started texting me after he found out and told me that any chance of us getting back was gone (as we had discussed this when we finished). I was devastated. I completely mistreated the other guy B who i had no interest in the slightest in.Summer continued with late night phonecalls between me and C discussing our future and i constantly apologised to him for my rebound , he made me pity him and made me feel awful.Nothing ended up happening between us but as he had devolped a close friendship with my parents he would take random visits to my house , and this is where it hurt me most. I watched a dvd alone with him and the odd time i would agree to act like we were still with each other but then i realised how desperate and easy i looked so i stopped.A few months later i had another boyfriend D , i felt nothing towards him after the pre-relationship butterflies and we finished 2 months later. i was still in love with C and i felt trapped and unable to feel towards others. Following this he came to my house once more nd as i refused to go near him he started telling me he was crazy about me and stupidly enough i fell for it and gave in once more to his charm. After that night i heard nothing from him and it became clear he was only after kissing me and the antics of a girlfriend so i swore to myself i wouldnt go back. That was early on in the year and after that i had 2 more relationships both which i enjoyed but i still had feelings for C. Now here's the worst part. .. Over Christmas he came to my house and at this stage i was sure i wouldnt gave in as he had tried other times and i had refused to for good! However he pinned me down on the floor and got ontop of me telling me to kiss him or he would give me a lovebite! Luckily enough his phone rang and he got up bt otherwise i couldnt get up as he had my hands down behind my head.The whole experience frightened me and it reamained on my mind for quite a while.Now at present i am with J, who i truly do have a great thing going with , him and C cant stand each other yet i still have feelings for both. Also im terrified that J still has feelings for his ex P who he dated for 2 years before me , it is clear P still likes him. I really like J who happens to be D's (who i mentioned earlier) best friend , messed up i know ! Im worried that my long lasting feelings for my ex will get in the way of my relationship with C , and this causes me great stress. Its that feeling i get in the pit of my stomach when i see C that just makes me feel angry and vulnerable yet filled with amazement. I am completely aware that he is an as* and this is why how i feel is so aggravating! Please help me move on ? Its almost 2 years now and im going mad with confusion ...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (23 March 2012):
I can understand why you are going mad with confusion. It was nearly impossible to follow all this and I am still not sure I understand.
So I will try to be as simple as possible.
Pick out one of these guys that you truly sincerely like and feel happy with and spend as little time as possible with any of the others.
And C should never be allowed in your home ever again. I don't think he was planning a simple kiss with you pinned down like that. Explain what happened to your parents so they don't allow for any more awkward situations.
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