A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while back I realized I had fallen in love with my best friend, and he was constantly on my mind. In November last year he started dating this girl at my school but I could see that she wasn't really for him. He changed, and became two different people, the real him when he was with me and our fellow friends, and another one when he was with her. I never gave up on him when he was together with her, even though I felt awful for almost hoping it would end. One day he broke up with her, he told me he hadn't seen what she was like, that she was fake, and he did not seem very upset about their breakup at all. He went back to his old self, the laughing and funny person he is, and I was relieved. I had missed him. I kept on being in love with him, but I never had the guts to tell him, and at first I regretted it, a lot. Now though, I can't make myself regret it, I am almost relieved I kept quiet. I know he loves me, and cares about me a lot, but it seems it was never in the same way.The thing is, recently I found out he liked my sister. She had just gotten out of a relationship herself, and it all happened very quickly. I had my suspicions, and the waiting for something to happen was almost worse than finding out she liked him to. I actually caught them making out, so I was the first one to know. But when I had already seen it, they did not really bother hiding it anymore. They became a couple few days after. This time I am determined to forget about him. They seem happy together, and my sister is way much better than his ex. Of course it is painful, especially since she is after all my sister, and I see them all the time. When I don't see them, everything reminds me of him. How do I get over him, and go back to loving him the way I used to, as my best friend? Sorry for the long letter.
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female
reader, 90'sbaby  +, writes (12 May 2011):
well that's very painful.did you tell your sister that you liked him before they started dating.i have that same personal experience were about the same age and my guy friend i fell in love with liked one of my friend's it still hurts and i hate that everything you do still reminds you of that person.it sucks but just try to avoid him at every probable cost.but if he dated your sister i wouldn't date him if i were you.because it'll just boast up his ego maybe after they break up you can say i use to have feelings for you while back and just test out his reaction.but introduce your sister into a new guy so that he wont have to be around as much.i know this is easy for me to say but there are a lot of guys out there.but i also know that feeling when you stuck on someone and you don't want anyone else but that person.im sure you'll meet a better guy your young so just enjoy life for now. best of luck to you hope this help
A
female
reader, m_dc +, writes (12 May 2011):
I have been in a similar situation and it really hurts. But the best way I find to get over a man is by finding another one. I go out with my mates have lots of fun and it does help to take your mind off it. I get my hair and nails done and treat myself to some new shoes/clothes. Meet some new and interesting people/make new friends and be open to all opportunities. It is hard but you really need to let him go. You will get over him eventually. It sounds like rubbish advice but its really the only way. In a while you'll wonder why you felt like this. So I would say- distract yourself and let time do the rest.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Why would you wish to forget about this person? It isn't like he is dead. You still care about him after all. There is now instant or easy way to grieve over a lost opportunity - you need to go over this process and get used to the change in you and his relationship. Over time these things happen and it is going to be uncomfortable but if you concentrate on what you need to do in life you will not find yourself obsessing about he and your sister.
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