A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I’m a humanities student in the middle of my college career. My TA is somewhere between 26 and 28. The semester ends tomorrow. I didn’t really think anything of him until I started going to office hours—his course material is extremely difficult. Over time the appointments I made with him would go into 1 hour and a half sessions, most of it extremely off-topic. I skipped class one time the next day after one of these appointments, and he even e-mailed to ask if I was okay. Another time, he even invited me to accompany him to a grad student event, with pizza and beer, but I passed (I a) had his homework due the next day and b) was involved with someone else at the time, so it would have been awkward).I didn't really go to his office hours or talk in class much for the next month or so; things were crazy. That said, I ran into him at a coffee shop when I was with a friend…he rode his bike over, locked it, and made really awkward conversation. He kept asking if I was coming to a study session at a restaurant that he had organized, to which had to decline, because of other commitments. He also said he wanted to “work” at the café, but it was too busy…then he eyed the empty seat next to me, before saying he had to leave.I ended up making an appointment with him to go over the course material at a different café…but what I didn't expect was him a) paying for my coffee, b) going off-topic and ignoring course material for almost two hours, and c) at the end of it, him saying, “ If you want to do this again, just let me know; I'm totally okay with it.” He also stated his summer availability. I know that's an open invitation…but an invitation to what?
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I think this guy is being passive aggressive in getting what he wants. In other words, his behavior is implied and its implied pretty damn clearly, in that... he definitely likes you. You have a lot of control here which is great as its an advantage to avoid him. Id try to avoid him and be indirect with your communication about telling him to screw off because he does have an influence on your grade and if he's a douchebag which it seems, he could play that card against you. Is there a peer tutor area in your school you go instead of creepy ass office? lol... what about forming a study group outside of his meetings? I think part of you feels obligated to be with him in meeting because of school and thats okay, im just suggesting other ways you can maybe succeed in your course with having as little contact as possible with the guy. If he's smart, he'll take a hint to back off. If he's persistent, then youll need to draw the line and Id do it at the college office and make a report about him anonymously about being harassed. Yes, harassed! This is borderline harassment right now and if it continues, he will cross a boundary and thats when you need to protect your self dignity and respect. Best on this.
|
