A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I respond to this?!Him: Why were you not in class today?Me: I was a little sick this morning - didn't wanna chance a 50min 4pm lecture :PHim: It's been a while hey? I really missed you.Me: I know, right? It's feel like forever since I've had Afrikaans with these crazy public holidays... You too :)Him: You know what I really missed though?Me: (with a little idea as to where he might be going with this but avoiding the question by playing dumb anyway) Hm, let me see.... Making fun of me? :P Yep, I knew it! It's all you ever do!Him: No, actually your smile :)Me: (Log out) (freak out)This guy is funny and sweet and sits with me in some of my lectures and tutorials. But I really only like him as a friend. I don't share any deeper feelings for him. He is also in a wheelchair, which is not why I don't like him, but why I'm scared of rejecting him. I feel like I'm one of the only people who get along with him and that he might take my rejection really personally and blame his disability or something. I don't know. I hate rejecting people, on the whole. How in the world do I tell him I'm not interested in a nice way and be able to maintain a good classmate/friendship when I see him in classes during the week?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 May 2014):
 Oh that's EASY OP... if you have a crush on someone.. just talk about him to this guy.. that friend zones him right there...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot! I've yet to actually see him again, and I've decided I'll talk to him about how the flirting is making me uncomfortable. To answer MSA+'s question, no I would not simply act differently if another guy complimented my smile (unless of course, he was my crush). Not to sound consceited, but many guys have said similar things to me before and I've reacted similarly with them as well, because they just weren't my type. I'm pretty picky, but that's another issue... My point is my feelings (or lack thereof) for him aren't based on his disability. He's just not my type at all. But you guys are right about the way I should treat him, that he is just like every other guy and I should tell him like any other guy. I just don't want to wait too long until he actually ASKS me on a date or something cause then I'll feel I've been leading him on. Anyway, I've made the situation much more complicated than it probs is, so bye and thanks a lot :) I'll have to just have a chat with him in person about the flirting business.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 May 2014):
Ya know just because he rolls instead of walks does not make him any different than any other guy.
He has not asked you out.. yes he's making it clear he likes you... but all you have to do is make it clear that you are not interested in him as anything more than a friend.
UNTIL he asks you to be his gf or go out on a date you can just move along as smoothly as you have been...
when he asks you to do something... you can say "sure if we go dutch treat AND it's just as friends"
that should make it clear to him.
his legs don't work..clearly his brain works just fine.
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A
female
reader, cardinal +, writes (14 May 2014):
 Oooh. Awkward. Yeah, I get the wheelchair thing. you have to be careful what you say.
I would tell him in person that you think he is really sweet, but some of the things he says makes you feel uncomfortable, and you wish to continue to be his friend but that you want him to stop flirting with you. whatever you do, don't mention anything about his wheelchair or he will definitely take it the wrong way, however you say it. keep it short and sweet.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (14 May 2014):
 Why is it that you're scared of rejecting him because he's in a wheelchair? Do you view him differently because he's in a wheelchair? Regardless of whether he's in a wheelchair or not, he will take rejection the same way guys do.
You freaked out because he complimented you on your smile? I think he's just trying to be friendly and sweet.. there's no reason for you to log out and freak out. Will you act the same way if a guy NOT in a wheelchair complimented you on your smile? My guess is not.
If you are really interested in being friends with him... I'd suggest you be real to him, the same way you treat your other friends. He will appreciate that more than anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2014): "You know dude, I think you're an awesome friend!" I wouldn't full out reject him until he actually asks you out, IF he chooses to. Until then, refer to him as "friend" and "buddy" a lot, without using it in every other sentence, haha
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