A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm basically just wondering if this guy likes me.I've been out of the dating scene for so long (was in a long term relationship and have purposely stayed single since) i'm not even sure HOW to read the signs but my friends all seem to think he does. If he does HOW do I even go about taking it a step further anyway? The only time I see him is when he is working and I don't want to come across as some psycho or something and have to avoid the store from there on out. I can't imagine just going up to him whilst he's working and basically asking if he wants to go out sometime or whatever. I have a big fear of rejection also so that's always a worry. It's all driving me nuts though so I feel I have to do SOMETHING but I just don't know what. I considered giving him a letter or something but as I said, I don't want to come across as a creep because i'm really not! So here goes- he works in a store I regularly shop in (well, 1-2 times a week). He's always working when I go in, either he works every day or more likely I just always happen to go in on his shifts (I don't go in on the same days every week, it varies). I first noticed him probably around four months ago. I was stood at the check out behind my friend who was paying for her goods, he was serving on the next check out and I noticed him looking at me. I didn't think anything of it at all, i'm not the sort of person to automatically think "well they MUST be flirting", that just doesn't enter my mind. I don't even think about anyone looking at me in that way. He is around my age and very handsome but that's beside the point I guess. Anyway, the next time I went in the same thing happened. I wasn't sure if he was purposely looking at ME or if he was just looking in our general direction for whatever reason, it seemed to be right at me though. But once again, I didn't think much of it. But after the THIRD time this is when I started to wonder.. It reminded me of being young, you know that kind of flirty staring you do with someone? Exactly like that. I'm way too coy to have jumped straight in with the conclusions though so as much as I wondered I just tried to push it to one side. Only, throughout the weeks that staring then developed into smiling at one another before eventually turning into conversation. He's very friendly, every time I go in he will strike up a conversation with me. It's nothing unusual, just small talk I guess although the time before last he did start belting out a song after we finished talking and then blushing, he apologised saying "he likes to sing to himself", he seemed to be acting fairly clumsy iykwim? Yesterday when I went in he came over from the work he was doing to speak to me. After saying hello he asked me why I come in every day. I don't go in every day ftr, only once or twice a week so I joked "I don't come in every day! You're acting as though i'm obsessed with the place and can't stay away!" He seemed to take it in good spirits, said he just wondered before telling me about an offer the store had on and then walking off. I took this quite weirdly, I tend to over think things so I asked my friends why he would come over to ask why I go in every day, does it perhaps make me strange to go into the store 1-2 times a week? Does he think i'm some weird stalker or something? My friends all agreed that he clearly was hoping I came in 'every day' for HIM as he likes me and hopes I like him back.. I mean i'm HOPING they are right but I'm not sure. Basically, i've noticed I'm developing some sort of feeling for him which i've tried extremely hard to suppress in the hope it would disappear but it's only made it worse. When he first stepped up the staring to a smile my heart skipped a beat, I haven't felt that way in YEARS (since I was really young and tbh it made me feel young again which I loved). And now i'm at a point where I can't wait to go in and see him, I even find myself making a bit of extra effort with my appearance. I'm even thinking about him a lot when i'm not around him and I get that nervous butterfly feeling when i'm on my way to the store. I know all of this makes me sound as though i'm twelve, I feel like I am saying it all! But this is how he's making me feel. My gut is almost telling me that there's something about him that I shouldn't ignore. So what should I do about it? My friends are a lot better at reading the signs and they seem to think he's been trying to hit on me but i'm just too lame to notice the signs. I am pretty lame at it, i'd rather people just came out and asked! It has been going on for a few months as well and it's starting to drive me a little insane. I'm just concerned that if I ask him out he'll either think i'm really odd for even thinking he thought about me in that way, he'll tell me he has a girlfriend! Or he'll reject me in some other way. Then i'll be really sad, won't be able to go into the store anymore (and it's a store I really love and need for various products!) and will just feel like a blundering idiot. I can't even imagine brazenly waltzing up to him and asking him out anyway, i've never even asked a guy out before it's always been the other way. So I just feel very confused and i'm not entirely sure what I should do or even if I should do anything. I don't want to live with the regret of not doing anything though iyswim?
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female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (10 June 2013):
Next time you go to the store. You try to start the conversation on a friendly note and try to keep it as long as possible. The longer it is , the more chance you have to know more about him : Whether he has a gf or not.
He might even ask your contact number or simply ask you out for a coffee!! If he don't, you can do it! Tell him you've got a get together among friends, ask him to join you guys. I mean this is a proper way. He will take it as a friendly note and you will get to spend time with each other if he comes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): Next time he walks up to you, and starts a conversation; ask him if he's seeing anyone. This is an opening, and you'll also find out why he hasn't made the first move. If it's because he has a girlfriend, *boyfriend, or a wife. *I'm gay, these things are possible.He needs an opening, and he doesn't want to cross an inappropriate line with a customer. So you have to make that move. He can't take the risk you'll go running back to his boss accusing him of hitting on you.Then he is going to have to ask you if you're seeing anyone.That's your chance. You can say you're not seeing anyone, and you're sort of new on the dating scene. You don't know where to go.Tell him you and your girlfriends were looking for some nice places singles like to go. Ask him to write them down, he doesn't have to tell you right now. He can give them to you next time you come in. You'd appreciate it. Now you'll find out where he likes to hang out. If they're dumps or dives, you'll get a clue if he's sleazy.Who knows, he might offer to show you a place. Either that, or you'll find out if he's a cheapo; or a stick in the mud that doesn't like to socialize. In any case, he's on the spot, and he has to come up with some suggestions. Don't settle for "I don't know."When he offers you a list, and you can offer him a number; and ask him to call or text you; if he plans to check out any of those places soon. Maybe you could have a bite or a drink together. Smile and walk away. Turn and wave as you leave. You have to add a personal element. You're not just a patron anymore.You've broken the ice.Tah-dah!!! You've invited him on a date, and he'll think it's his idea.Please let me know how it turns out!
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