A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I got dumped after an almost 3 year long relationship. The last year or so was a long-distance arrangement until she finally cheated on me and told me it was over.The whole situation obviously shrunk my self-esteem quite a lot, but now, almost 10 months later I still don’t feel, nor act single. I automatically dismiss every new girl I meet who might have shown an interest. It's like my ex has castrated me, and I don’t know how to get back in the game.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 There are two ways to get out of this.
The first one is to accept with your heart that it's over, nothing can be done, and you need to carry on because you have a right to be happy and enjoy life.
The other way is to stay where you are, let perfectly good people go away, and, many years later, realize you have been a fool, and hit your head against a wall in anger at having been such a dumb person.
I hope you will take the first option. Most of us go for the second one, and learn the lesson the hard way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): No one can really tell you any miracle solution to get you out of this slump-this is all up to you. But we can try to motivate you. You have to do the work. I think the best way out of this, is positive thinking and clear headed rationale. And a big, healthy dose of self-love. So start by trying to remember, what's good about you. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, use some personal courage and nip this stuff in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to help you remember what's good about you. And the next time a female shows interest, at the very least, sit and talk to her and give it a chance to make some new friends. Good luck!
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