A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cannot get over the fact that my husband-to-be slept with a prostitute 5 years before he met me. I did the wrong thing and asked for all the details, but he did too when he told me about it when I didn't ask. After three years of living with this it still breaks my heart that he could do something like that. I have slept with more people, but have never done anything of this nature, nor anything I am ashamed of. I know his reasons for doing this, but it is SOOO out of his character and his reasons don't make sense to me at all. Advice? Why does it hurt so bad? My guess is that I love him so much and I am jealous that I wasn't there first. Instead it was a girlfriend that cheated on him and subsequently, a prostitute who didn't give a shit about him that he slept with for revenge. Meanwhile, I,on the other hand, love him so very much and have made his life so much better, according to him. I also think it hurts because never in a billion years would I believe that he'd do something like that. But he did . . .If I haven't gotten over it now and continue to make him feel bad about it (as he sees it as one of the lowest moments of his life) shouldn't I just go?Thanks.p.s. I know ultimately I need to make this decision on my own, but I would really like as much input as possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne last little detail that I think bothers me also. He told me about this action, but he didn't tell the person he was trying to get revenge on, though he did it to hurt her. I find that very unfair. If he wanted to hurt her so bad, then why not follow through and tell? To be honest though, she never loved or cared about him. She used him, so I don't think she would've cared anyway. She's such a horrible person that I think she actually would've laughed at him.Anyway, I know that you all are all very right. But it's just nice to hear from others honestly. Thank you very much. As for now, I have chosen to stay in this relationship and am planning on possibly getting some counseling.Thanks again. :]
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): I admit, I would be the same as you if I found out my b/f had slept with a prostitute, mainly because it's so sleazy! But you need to get over it, It was five years ago! It be stupid to end a relationship over ONE past mistake.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): I honestly have to say that I agree with the other answerer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): If you can't let it go, it won't work.PLEASE go to counseling, get your feelings out and try to work on why it affects you so much. You said yourself that you've had sex before, so why shouldn't he? I mean, who cares who he did it with, right? Is he judging you? I really recommend counseling, believe me, it helps tremendously. :-D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): im sorry to sound harsh but - get over it - it was before you were together also , as dirty as it sounds - at least it was a prostitue- protection would have been a must- its not going to be a girl that turns out to be one of you realtives or mates and then it bites you in the assbe happy that its some random girl that you will never meet, be happy that it wasnt some tart from a seedy night club that he could of caught something from through not using protection .you say it isnt like him to do that , maybe thats why hes done it - as his ex wouldnt expect it , he could of got her best mate in to bed- but he didnt - that would of hurt his ex alot more, but wouldnt it of made him look like even more of a bad guy to you if he had done that ?!at the end of the day, his past is his past- get over it - or at least forgive him for it ..........would you appriciate your lowest moment being thrown in your face or being reminded if it everyday? i think not?
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (25 October 2008):
 I'll tell you what girls tell guys all the time when they don't like they're girlfriend's past.
THE PAST IS THE PAST GET OVER IT, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE'S WITH YOU NOW.
Like that? You ladies should.
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