A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is somebody that I like who I am kind of friends with . We get on really well, have lots in common and laugh and joke a lot, as well as chatting when we go to the pub in a group etc. I've been on two holidays with him in a group. I wouldn't necessarily say we are comfortable friends though. For example, we wouldn't hang out one on one and would only message in a group thread. I want to try and get to know him more but I'm quite an anxious/ overthinking person and don't want to come across as a weirdo or as coming on too strong if I keep inflicting myself upon him! I hope that by becoming proper friends it might lead to more but I'd be content with just friendship for the moment. I don't have much luck with boys and am super aware of every connection I try to make just never turning into anything. I find it hard to tell when things are just one-sided (from me) or if they are worth persevering with. I also worry (as probably everyone does) about being rejected. So I never normally put myself out there.I'd like some advice on two things really:1)how to proceed with this situation but also2) if it doesn't work out how I want, how to go forward without feeling like I'm unwanted (sorry to sound dramatic but it is 6 years since i had feelings for someone who actually reciprocated, and you do start to wonder why!) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, badger543  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 My advice would be to definitely build on the friendship and get to know him as a person. There is obviously a physical attraction but you have the chance to find out if you are compatible as people before things move towards a possible relationship. There is no harm in dropping subtle hints to see if he might be interested (though men often miss such subtleties!). At some point you might be exposed to finding out whether he feels the same way, but this is the dilemma we all face. Surely it is better to have tried than to spend a lifetime wondering? Best of luck to you!!
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (30 January 2017):
 1)you are right to start as friends first.......the best relationships have a foundation of friendship. You can try flirting to see how he reacts...or you can ask a mutual friend(preferably a girl) what she thinks of the two of you going out as a couple and if she thinks he might be interested in you....
If he is not interested and/or rejects you then just be strong and look at it as a life experience and realize that he must not be right for you and be glad that he didn't string you along for 10 years+ and wasted your time!We are meant to try on different people and learn from these experiences before we find "the one".....that's life! Good luck hun
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