A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy wants to go on a date to the cinema tomorrow but i dont want to go as it would be a very dark,intimate place and i'm worried that he'll try to make a move on me. I dont feel ready for that yet. We have only met a couple of times so far and that was in a bar. How can i tell him in a polite way that i dont want to go there ?. I feel bad because he said he wanted it to be his treat too. I feel like going to a bar that i usually go to on Wednesdays tomorrow though.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): Just say "Listen buddy, I kind of have to be a little bit drunk to actually find you attractive but look on the bright side it also makes me loose."
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
As the others said, cinema is a pretty crappy place to take a date when you don't know them that well. Say go to the bar so you can chat. The thing is though, you've been to the bar a few times and frankly it gets old, especially if it's the bar you usually go to because there's a good chance you'll end up meeting lots of people you know and being interrupted every 5 minutes. So not only has he to woo you but he has to impress your friends and sit there being judged awkwardly by the people you meet. Plus do you really want all your dates to be in a bar? you can't exactly use the I wan to chat excuse if it's going to be a bar with loud music blaring in it and packed to rafters full of people.
Why not go bowling or ice skating or go do something fun, an activity you can both share other than drinking. Surely you can think of plenty of fun public activities and then maybe go grab some macdonalds (classy) afterwards.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 "The cinema sounds lovely but I'd really much rather go to the Earl of Sandwich Bar and spend time actually talking!"
From what you've written, you don't really trust this guy very much, do you? Are you certain you want to even go out on a date with him?
And it's time to have a firm "no" in your dating repertoire. Practice some verbal checks, "Charles, you are lovely but I do not 'make out' in movie theatres." "William, we don't know each other well enough yet to do that."
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): He might not try to make a move on you it a good way to be around someone with out having to talk much espeically if your shy :):) it was what me and my now bf did when we was dating we dated for seven weeks before we even kissed we took thinkgs slow because that all we was comfortable with :) x just relax and enjoy me and my bf went to the cinema three timee and never kissed untill we offically got together and then it wasn't even a proepr kiss because we was so shy :) we been together 8 months now :). Just rellax around him :) he prob just wants you to go to cinema because it a more mutrual closer without being inteemete than a bar :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 December 2011):
Best thing to do is explain to him that you'd like to spend some more time talking to him, and would prefer to go to a bar instead of the cinema so you can talk to each other. Hopefully he'll take the hint.
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