A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help with my girlfriend I am in a desperate situation and I know many of you will just say to break up with her but I'm not looking for that I am looking for advice on how to fix our relationship Recently while I was on the phone with her she thought she over heard me talking to my brother about a picture of a girl named Christian. Now me and my brother were talking but never about a girl My brother had been bothering me to draw him pictures of guns and stuff and my girlfriend heard it as though I am cheating on her because supposedly I'm lookin at a picture of another girl because thats what she thought she heard and assumed what I was doingNow we have trust issues mainly because of her always thinking I'm doing something behind her back because her friends try to manipulate her by saying I am the bad guy when I know I am notShe says I am always lying and she is the one always right and I am wrong I have lied to her by only telling her what she wants to hear since she always has to be right That is what I lied about to her that I cheated that I am an asshole it's all my fault that was the lie the truth has truly always been I never cheated on her and other people just don't want us together and make me out to be the assholeNow she is talking to a guy I hate and I hate him because he used our problems her mistrust in me to his advantage. He got her drunk an kept saying how bad of a person I was when I don't even know him and slept with my girlfriend. Even though at the time we were broken up. Now because my girlfriend thinks I'm talking to other girls or I have someone on the side she is gonna talk to him an possibly cheat on me because an assumption that I am cheating on herUntil she sees that there is no one else then she'll stop talking to this guy. What can I do to show her I am not cheating Talking to her is almost out of the question she will argue that I am the one wrong because once she believes something it is very very difficult to change her mind whether if what she believes is the truth or not. She always has to be right unless I show her concrete proof that there is no one at allWhat can I do? please help!!!!!
View related questions:
christian, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 Sorry let me get this straight, she is accusing you of cheating but she ss/was chatting to some other guy and she got drunk and slept with him???
This girl is trying to make you out as the 'baddie' but to be honest, this is a doomed relationship.
She will never believe anything you say EVEN IF YOU COULD PROVE IT TO HER!
To fix this relationship would mean that she would have to admit to her insecurities and trust issues and I doubt she would do that. Its too easy to blame you and accuse you of wrongdoing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): Addendum to my previous post:
"She always has to be right unless I show her concrete proof that there is no one at all."
Basically, you're saying she'll only believe you if you can provide concrete proof you didn't cheat on her with a
girl who doesn't exist (and I doubt even that would convince her).
My lawyer just called; the cops want me to provide concrete proof I haven't murdered anyone even though nobody's missing.
If you figure out a solution, please let me know.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): "What can I do?"
If you don't want to break up with her there's nothing you can do. You can't win.
If she's wrong and you tell the truth, she doesn't believe you're telling the truth because you're always lying and she's always right.
If she's wrong and you tell her what she wants to hear, she doesn't believe you're lying even though you're always lying because she's always right.
If she's wrong and you tell her what she's going to believe anyway, she believes you're telling the truth even though you're always lying because she is always right.
And you don't want to break up with her because . . . ?
I know, I know: YOU LOVE HER!!!!!!!
...............................
|
