A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my exboyfriend broke up with me over a year ago and I just don't know how to move on. I am still very depressed and I just keep thinking why he didn't love me as much as I loved him. He got back with his exgirlfriend and I am completely devastated by that and keep comparing myself to her, wondering what she did to make him fall in love with her. I just want to feel happy again and want to stop wanting him back. When I run into him , I get so nervous and don't know how to act. It's been so much time since the break up and I want to feel happy with myself again. Please help.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Dear paisana, life is short and you should not waste any opportunities to feel happy and enjoy yourself. That is exactly what you're doing by staying where you are with respect to this young man. I understand very well why this is so, because I have been there, too (who hasn't?), and this is why I recommend that you make the conscious decision not to remain sad and depressed, but go out and enjoy the nicer things in life.
That's how.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 please don't feel like you compare poorly against his ex girlfriend that he went back to. in life we meet people along the way, some we hit it off with and some we don't so much. with relationships sometimes we are the one who wants to call it a day and sometimes the other person wants to. we can love everyone, no matter how much they want us to. because they are just not the right one. and for this guy, you were just not the right one FOR HIM but for someone you will be perfect!
this guy may have never gotten over the feelings for his ex when he met you, so maybe his heart never gave you a proper chance, and there is nothing in the world that you could have done about that so don't let this make you feel bad. once you start realising this, you will be able to stop torturing yourself with feelings of 'i'm not good enough' coz it is that that is stopping you from getting over this. i feel it is not HIM that you are still stuck on, but your feelings of inadequacy that you could not keep him. like i say, there is no need for you to feel this way though.
get on with your life, plan fun things with your friends to give you stuff to think about and look forward to, if you feel like you have got low self confidence, look at WHY this is. were you this way before your relationship with him? is there issues from your younger life that led to feeling like that? address the issues with counselling. spend you time with people that admire you, share with them how low you are feeling and i am sure they will remind you of all the good and lovable qualities that you have
x
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