A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married 25 yrs. I had a 10 yr affair with a married co-worker. I no longer work for the company. He ended it very abruptly about 6 months ago. I did not think I invested so much in the friendship. It has been very difficult to just move on. How do I just let it go, and get it out of my head so I can move on? Is there a time limit on this kind of thing?
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affair, co-worker, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): Best way's to think about how you hurt somebody real bad and how that made that person feel and how long it probably took that person to move on if the person even moved on. Sucks doesn't it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): Ask karma, his wife and your husband.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Tell your husband and see how long it takes for him to "move on" from you...bet it's quick
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 I don't think there is a time limit for getting over anything that affects us deeply, it very much depends on the circumstance and the individual.
I am not big on affairs but understand that they happen all the time and getting over them is no less painful that getting over any relationship. You need to keep busy, accept that things are over and focus on yourself.
One of the disadvantages of an affair is the fact that you often can't be open and talk to family and friends about your pain and dissapointment and you very often have to suffer in silence. perhaps confide in one close friend whom you can trust and try to work through how you feel.
It's wise to break off any contact with your ex affair partner and refrain from prying or snooping into their life now...there is nothing that you can find out that will make any difference to the situation.
Eventually enough time will pass and the memories will gradually fade. Now might also be an excellent time to put your own marriage under the spotlight and ask yourself if you are truly happy...maybe it's time for repairing or a total life change.
I hope you feel better soon x
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