A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is long but i think i need to tell every aspect for you to really understand. My ex boyfriend and I were together for nearly seven months, we fought a hell of a lot but there were the good times and the good times were perfect. As with every new relationship, we were unbearabley close and couldn't stand being away from eachother, but it evened out after a couple of months. Anyway on with the story. We were both at our seperate parties for our respective best friends, and I made the excuse of kissing another guy. I knew i made a mistake instantly and tried calling my ex, but he didn't answer. I then called him the next day and i went to his house to see him. He was so happy to see me when i got there.. We talked for a while but then i told him what i did. His reaction went from disbelief to repulsion. He dumped me and i left heart broken. I called him that night and he graciously accepted to talk to me. I was a mess as soon as i left his house and it was a couple of hours later when i had to call him. I know he was hurt but he was calm when i called him and he was still thinking of my feelings. The next day we had school and he was still civil. I talked to him at lunch and i made it worse for the both of us by breaking down and begging him to take me back. He was cold and told me he couldn't deal with it. I'm being treated for depression and he knew i had anxiety attacks where i would harm myself and he wanted to get away before he could witness that, understandabley. In one of our classes, we had a camp coming up, bushwalking, which meant i had to spend four days and three nights with him. It was one of the hardest things i've ever had to go through espeicially because half of the twenty four people were his friends, and they all hated my guts. On the last night, i couldn't stand it and i went into his tent to talk to him. His friends had been telling him that i had done more with the guy which are blatant lies. His hatred for me was evident and by the end of the painful conversation, he told me to get out. I was so glad to get home and not have to see him at all, i avoided seeing him for five days, even though we had class together everyday. We talked on a thursday and it felt so good, like old times, but really nothing had changed. School holidays had approached and i talked to him again on the first monday. I had heard that he hoped i had fallen off a cliff on bushwalking and i couldn't believe it so i asked him, which he apologised for. He said he just wants to move on go our seperate ways. I asked if he still loved me and he said it was fading,i asked again and he said no, thats why he wants to move on. He was adamant when He said we'd never be together again, ever. He was my first love, and this is the hardest thing ever. I often think i'm never going to find someone like him because he was such an amazing person and even though he critisised me, i still love him with all my heart. I've lost a part of me, i've lost not only my lover but my best friend. He was my first as well, so i'm emotionally attached as well as that. We were certain we were going to get married and have a future together. I made a mistake and i broke his heart, but he had broken my heart so many times and i always forgave him because i loved him so much and i wanted to work through it. He doesn't want anything to do with me. I think i don't want to be with him either, even though we thought we were so good together.I'm really sorry for such a long story but i guess my main question is, how do i move on from my first love, the love of my life and my best friend? Will he ever want to be with me?
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best friend, kissing, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dsears1989  +, writes (11 April 2009):
Hey I wanna know the answer to that question myself as I'm going through something very similure. My first love broke up with me. It also being my fault and we to had thought we were gonna get married and he's done some pretty mean things but I still love him to. I want to know if he will take me back to. At least ur guy told u he didn't love u mine just hasn't said it and he doesn't want to give me another chance. If you want to private mesaage me I think we could help each other out
A
male
reader, Deeroc +, writes (11 April 2009):
 whoa thats interesting, thats almost but not really the same as my story.
Usually anything someone says mean to their ex to intentionally hurt them is because they have been hurt and they want you to feel it I.E him telling you he wished you fell off a cliff.
its not the right thing to do, but its some what of a human instinct. Sometimes people dont even realize it.
Theres nothing u can do about his friends talking smack about you. Bottom line is they are just comforting him and helping him get over you. Added to that i also don't think thats a good thing people do, because when 2 people have feelings for each other those "friends" just get in the way and ruin something.
Im not saying you should blame his friends, thats just how it is.
Your first love will always be in your memories not a lot of people will forget their first love, because they they take the experience they get from it and learn from it. Meaning they had that taste of a relationship and they know what they want in their next mate.
Im not gonna lie, your gonna be hurting for a bit. But 7 months you shouldn't be hurting that long. But I do see somewhat of a red flag when you mentioned you have anxiety attacks.
Hurting yourself is never the answer. You need to find something to occupy your time. I know your probably thinking "i dont want to, i just dont feel like it". If u really want to recover you will make that effort i know its hard but you will do it.
I myself forced myself out of the house to exercise and hang out with friends. You will get thoughts of your ex when doing these things. When that happens you need to tell yourself "im gonna think about this for 5 min then move on", and shorten the time each time it happens.
Yea i know that seems stupid, i said the same thing but i do it from time to time for my ex if I'm in the slumps.
Remember though keep yourself occupied with your time, dont sit at home doing nothing. Your mind will drive u crazy and u could end up in a big depression. Your young, and your in the point in life where your learning.
Just let time heal the bond between you 2 im sure you guys can become friends later on just not now.
Will he ever want to be with you? I don't know him so i don't know. But dont get your hopes up, just let reality sink in that its over and move on if something happens it happens.
Always learn from your mistakes I.E. kissing someone when your not suppose to.
Hope this helps somewhat.
Latar lass! =)
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