A
male
age
,
*quarian64
writes:I have been in a relationship for 4 yrs. My partner is divorced but i live with this constant threat of her going back to husband and kids. She has gone back once and come back.Now one child is not doing too well at school and she is depressed because she does not see him every day to keep track of his schoolwork. I have no kids myself, We get on well and do love each other but i can never seem to move forward.Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): one thing i have learnt in life: we go back because we want to.
plain and simple so no matter what she says she goes back because she wants to.
drifting in and out of her kids lives actually amounts to abandonement, isn't it. does them more damage.
in the end she choose you over her kids. so that is all that matters.
A
male
reader, Aquarian64 +, writes (24 May 2010):
Aquarian64 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is a good person, the kids are teenagers and it has been the better decision for them to live with father. He treats them well, just never treated his wife well. She goes back more out of the guilt over leaving family.Comes back for two reasons, i allow it and i know she really does love me. Sometimes seeing her cry over her guilt is akin to the death of a family member.I think as a mother she is great, they are able to come whenever they want but still awkward for them but do stay over once a week.Not a day goes by when she is not wanting to see them or on the phine to them. We have never been on holiday as she will not leave if her kids need her. I appreciate responses but she is a good mother, i have lived long enough to know that and have been woth women who have their children and are terrible mothers.If she fought for custody it would have been worse. Daughter and son now in early and late teens.
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A
male
reader, mulattoman  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 A female reader, anonymous, writes: "it shows me the quality of the woman if she chooses her lover over her kids"
You can't really assume what kind of mother she is. For all you know the husband won the custody battle and she's stuck seeing her kids on weekends only or whatever.
The topic of discussion is her going back to her ExHusband. It's one thing to have the kids dropped off at her place and spend time. But for her going back to the dog she "left" is unacceptable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): i think you have just wasted 4 years. this woman would never fully commit to you. why are her kids not with her. this to me is a warning bell when mothers do not care for custody of their kids. it shows me the quality of the woman if she chooses her lover over her kids. just my thoughts - useit, don't use it but please be aware of it,
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A
male
reader, Aquarian64 +, writes (21 May 2010):
Aquarian64 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you mulattoman, appreciate the response, you are right when you say
A woman would never be with a man who holds them back
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A
male
reader, mulattoman +, writes (20 May 2010):
Never be with a woman who holds you back. Why?
A woman would never be with a man who holds them back.
Don't let her use the ol' "oh my kids" excuse to go back to her ExHusband every now and then. That makes YOU the tool.
I know you love her, but if she loved you 100% she'd be done with him. I don't care what they used to have, when you're done with somebody either you're done all the way or not at all.
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