A
female
age
26-29,
*lightlyLost
writes:Sorry for any rambling but here is a quick low down of my situation. Basically,I have a boyfriend who is kind, sweet, ect. ect. I am not in love with him and doubt I ever will be but we are really close and I genuinely like him a lot and he knows this. I'm not one of those girls who is a veritable debutante or Martha Stewart - I'm more into having a good time and can be quite flitty and flirty but I am making an effort to be a good girlfriend (fingers crossed!) as he is a lovely guy and deserves it :') I just would like some tips on moderating my behavior and just being what he needs - DISCLAIMER - I am not trying to change for him I just am trying to compromise and be a good girlfriend. Thanks in advance!
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male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 YOU DONT LOVE HIM,AND YOU SAY YOU DOUBT YOU EVER WILL!!
What are you doing in this 'relationship?' Passing time till mr right happens along?
Do the both of you a favour n let him go...Give him a chance to find one who genuinely cares for him
I find you to be very selfish...Are you fearful of being lonely n JUST have to have a guy around?
Come on! Be a better person,stop living life like its always supposed to be about you...
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 You are changing for him, and what he needs is a woman that already is what he wants.
That is what you need. You know, what you said is really, really hot to me; a woman that will do what I want, etc.
However, it is a fantasy and it is not real. If a woman is not already exactly what I like, in a natural state, then she is not going to like being what I want her to be.
There is a type of sexuality called BDSM. There, you actually have people that call themselves "slaves" and will do whatever their "master" says. In many circumstances, they comprimise and comprimise, eventually not really liking the person they are comprimising for, because they have changed themselves for someone who has not necessarily changed for them.
I am 100% into that concept. However, you can't just go into a relationship changing your personality for him in an actual way.
However, you can adopt the change in some form of sexuality to separate the reality from the fantasy, so he understands that there is a boundary.
If you want to cook for him, do some sort of sexual roleplay where you are his submissive maid, and make it a character that you both enjoy.
If you want to do anything for him that might make you seem like you are comprimising, sexual fantasy is a good way to do it.
Moderate your behavior in the bedroom so he knows its not who you really are.
If you do it in real life, there is no boundary, and your comprimises can turn into him thinking you are something you are not.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (26 July 2011):
 I have a question, if you don't love him and never will, why are you in a relationship with him? You say you want to change your behaviour to be a good girlfriend, yet it sounds like you see this relationship as very casual. So I am wondering why you want to change to be something that you don't actually want to be?
If you like him a lot but don't ever think you will feel stronger for him, and you think he is a lovely guy who deserves a good girlfriend, who perhaps will love him, why not let him go to find someone who will really want to be this for him? Why not just be friends if you don't think you will ever love him? You are young, go have fun until you are ready to be serious with someone. If this guy is the monogamous type who will fall in love with you, it will hurt him when in the future he realises you will never love him. And if you are flirty and flitty, why do you want to act like the perfect girlfriend to a guy you don't love?
Hope this helps :)
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