A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 24yr old female and my boyfriend is 26 just recently cheated on me. Trust me the pain just wont go away and I've been going out every weekend to parties to get wasted, cause sitting at home just depresses me more. The other day called to say that he misses me, for some reason I feel he is lying. His friend says he really does love me but the friend would say that cause they are homeboyz. I wish I could believe that he does love me but I don't. He really is apologetic but I think he's sorry he got caught. We've been going out for six months and they were the best time of my life, even though we argued. I wont lie that I don't love him but every night I pray the lord to just mend what was broken between us. Sometimes I wish I never met and skip my regret of loving him. It feels like a train just ran on me and I wish the earth would open up and swallow me. I know a cheater is always a cheater. He really broke my heart...................
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brokeniswear  +, writes (31 May 2009):
i know im young and everything. im only 16.
my heart has recetly been torn out of place too
i'm sure your issue is worse but i can't stop thinking
the worst. its one of my biggest flaws. i cant help it.
i need to get over it and we all do it happens to everyone. sometime. but the best thing to do that rellly helped/helps me, think thoughts like thank god im not with him anymore, and wow he was a pain in my ass. i know these are far from reality but it honestly worked well for me,. i hope it does you a little good.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Everyone deserves a second chance. It's wat they do with that that shows what they are.
No mythical god or deity will help you here.
You and You alone can fix this or end it.
But any decent human being would offer forgivenss and not question his loyalty again. If he cheats again, then end it.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 I disagree with you on the 'i know a cheater is always a cheater'. sometimes people make mistakes. And girls make them just as well as men can. I know that won't ease the pain, and it shouldn't. i can hardly imagine how much it must hurt to be betrayed so fully by someone you love so deeply.
However, going out and getting wasted doesnt seem to be working does it? That is you, avoiding the pain and running away from what has happened - so be brave and stop doing it. It's not going to make it hurt less just because you're drunk. I can imagine it probably helps to make it worse.
You have to ask yourself, why would he be calling you to tell you he's sorry if he wasn't? I think if he was as cruel as your heart thinks he is, he wouldn't bother. But that doesn't change what he did.
And you have to ask yourself do you want to get back with him? I'm guessing the answer is no because when you break trust like that, it's hard to go back.
So it's time to move forwards. But you can't force yourself to be okay straight away. and if i happened last week or the week before or whatever, you can't rush feeling better. Your body, your heart and your mind need time to grieve and to recover. Yes, sitting at home just depresses you, but you need time to feel sad, so you can eventually move on, otherwise it'll never go away.
You don't have to sit home alone at night. invite friends over, go to the movies, go bowling, just be around supporting people who will understand if you're feeling bad without making yourself worse by drowning yourself in alcohol.
You can never really mend a broken heart, i'm sorry to say it but there will always be a tiny pang of pain when you think of it but you'll get better. you just have to give yourself a chance to. accept what he did, stop thinking about all the good times or all the bad times and just think of what you can do tomorrow. go shopping. spend time with friends and family. do things to take your mind off it. ..
i know i'm babbling, but i don't know what else there is to say. he shouldn't have hurt you like he did and you didn't deserve it. and you don't deserve to make yourself feel worse, so find ways of making yourself get better, but be patient with yourself and allow yourself to be sad when you need to be.
I'm sorry if this doesn't help, but i hope it does and i hope you feel better soon. xx
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