A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and in my second year at college; I've got a good social life, but I often get depressed because I'm single and I've never had a boyfriend before. I spend loads of time with others, but I feel like I've seen everything there is to see about being single.I could get into a relationship right now if I really wanted - a couple of male acquaintances have told me they liked me, but I got the impression they only wanted one thing out of me and so I chose not to go out with them. I don't know any male single guys whom I really fancy; I'm Christian so I'd prefer to date a guy who followed my religion if possible but I only converted to Christianity a few years ago and so I still don't know many Christian guys. They don't seem to go for girls like me either (I'm a bit of a party girl and very outgoing though I study hard as well).Advice on how to stop getting so depressed and make the most of being single? I'd rather be like this if I can't have a stable, committed relationship right now, but it's really getting me down.
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female
reader, HeresBoo  +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Congratulations on converting :) there are plenty of great Christian guys out there that love to party and love party girls so don't lose hope because you haven't discovered one yet. Just make sure you don't shut people off too quickly. Some guys may come off standoffish or quiet but have the warmest hearts.
In terms of making the most of your single life, when I was in your situation I found it really helped to do exciting things with my close friends and experience things like going to a shooting range, snorkelling with sea lions, etc. experience life without having to take into account someone else's fears or schedules :)
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 HI
WHAT GAVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT THESE GUYS WERE ONLY AFTER ONE THING? SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TAKE CHANCES IF YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. THAT DON'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE YOUR BELIEFS, IF YOU WANT TO STAY PURE UNTILL YOUR MARRIED THAT IS PERFECTLY EXCEPTABLE, AND IF THE PERSON YOU MEET CAN'T MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS THEN HE IS NOT FOR YOU.
AS FAR AS MAKING THE MOST OUT OF BEING SINGLE AND NOT FEELING DEPRESSED , YOU COULD START GOING TO THE GYM, BURN OFF THAT DEPRESSION. EXERCISE IS THE BEST WAY TO WARN OFF THEM BLUES, AS YOUR ADRENILINE GOES INTO COBAT MODE AND YOU WILL FEEL MORE ALIVE AND FULL OF LIFE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE. REALLY PUT YOUR ALL INTO FULLFILLING YOUR QUALIFICATIONS AND MAKING SOMETHING OF YOURSELF. KNOWING YOU HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO WILL ALSO GIVE YOU A CONFIDENCE BOOST, AND YOU WILL NOT FEEL SO ALONE OR DEPRESSED. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING A PENFRIEND? I KNOW IT MAY SEEM SILLY TO YOU HOWEVER, HAVING A LETTER TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND WRITING BACK TO THAT PERSON WILL FILL A LOT OF YOUR ALONE TIME, SO YOU WONT HAVE A CHANCE TO FEEL DEPRESSED. :D
MY DAUGHTER IS 19 AND IS AT THE END OF HER 4TH YEAR AT COLLEGE, AND WILL BE GOING UNI , SHE HAS NO FRIENDS AS SHE PUTS ALL HER TIME AND EFFORT INTO HER COURSE WORK, INFACT HER BEST FRIEND IS ME ( WHICH I LOVE ) HOWEVER I WOULD LOVE FOR HER TO HAVE A GOOD FRIEND TO TALK WITH. SO SHE HAS AGREED TO TAKE A GAP YEAR BEFORE UNI SO SHE CAN MAKE SOME GOOD FRIENDS AND HAVE TIME TO TRAVEL. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT TRAVEL? OR WHAT ABOUT DOING WORKING ABROAD FOR A YEAR, GET TO SEE SOME OF THE WORLD BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS?
I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOUNG GIRLS OF YOUR AGE WHO STAND THERE GROUNDS AND NOT SLEEP AROUND. YOU HAVE MORALS, AND EDUCATION BEHIND YOU, SO ANY GUY THAT DOES END UP WITH YOU WILL BE A VERY LUCKY YOUNG MAN INDEED. SO DON'T FEEL DOWN FEEL PROUD YOUR NOT ANOTHER SATISTIC, AND FOLLOWER OF CROUDS JUST TO BE NOTICED.
SO IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK, OR JUST BORED AND NEED TO TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THINGS, I AM ALWAYS HERE OK.
MANDY X
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