A
female
age
30-35,
*aylorRae165
writes:Dear Cupid,So I guess I don’t just have a simple question. I actually have more than one. To make a (really) long story short I suppose the most important thing about my situation is that the guy I’m involved with is really wonderful, which is probably why so many other girls like him. I mean a lot of other girls. A ton. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes he’s hard to read even though I know he likes me, and I’m also having a hard time with all of these other girls hanging on him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not usually the jealous type, but I don’t really know how to keep his attention on me. I don’t want to be just another girl to him. I want this to work. It’s a little more complex than that, but that’s the general problem I’m having. So, how do I deal with all of these other girls, and how do I keep his attention and make him really want me as much as I want him?
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (17 July 2010):
Well i guess you got it all figured out! except how to get his total attention. that seems like you are a little ensecure to me!
A
female
reader, TaylorRae165 +, writes (16 July 2010):
TaylorRae165 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'd like to say thanks for all the answers, and a lot of them were helpful =].
To clear up some questions from people who replied: First of all our situation isn't black and white, but technically we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that. This is pretty new to us, but I've known him most of my life (He's my best friends brother), so something could definitely happen. We're comfortable with each other and he makes me laugh. We can be serious or just mess around. Oh, I'm slightly older than him also, if that's relevant.
I don't think of myself as just another one of the girls following him around, and I want him to see that too. He's different than most guys and I see that. I don't know if those other girls do.
And like I said he's a really nice guy, so he reacts to all girls like you would expect, plus he's really used to the attention. He knows how they feel and I don't know if he's nice to them because he doesn't want to hurt them or because he likes the attention. I don't think he's a "player" though. Not at all.
What I want to know is how do I get him to see me the way I see him? I don't want to be one of those girls, you know? I want to have a real relationship with him and I don't know how to make that happen, exactly.
Thanks everyone =]
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A
female
reader, Inallhonesty... +, writes (16 July 2010):
 Well first, we need to know how he reacts to these other girls' advances. You say that you're involved with him but when I read on, it seems like you're just another girl in the sea of women trying to get his attention. He's either with you or he's not. If he is, then you should be secure enough in your relationship with him not to worry about how to get him to like you or about keeping off those other girls. But if you're just starting out with him and you're not use to the attention he's getting, then you'll have to ask yourself the question of whether you're willing to deal with it all. I say this because from what you're telling us, he has a charm that keeps the women after him and you can't just turn that off. In most cases, it just gets worse as they get older and more women will come. There will always be women lol. Do you know for a fact that he's ready to be committed to you and only you? Those are definitely some things to think about and if you have any doubt in your mind or at this point you're not the most secure with how you think he feels about what you both have, talk to him. Lay it all out on the table and see where his head is. If you guys are on the same level then don't worry about those other girls, keep being yourself and doing what you do...you have the guy;) On the other hand, if it seems like he's not taking it as serious as you, then let it go and find someone on your level because you deserve that much. Good luck hun, and I hope this helped :)
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A
female
reader, nicewile +, writes (16 July 2010):
It is impossible. Can you just be friend?
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A
female
reader, spaz_69_9 +, writes (16 July 2010):
I am going through the same situation, so i know how you feel. I just try to be myself, if all those other girls want him too they are probably all fake, and coming on too strong... which is good for guys but bad for real relationships. If you be yourself he will se that you are different and that may be what draws him to you instead. Try just coming on to him very sudddle but sexy, kind of make it seem like your playing hard to get... he might like a challenge instead of something so easy... and also try that deep love look in your eyes when he catches you looking at him, thats what worked for me, good luck
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (16 July 2010):
One day you will look back on this and think boy what was i thinking! sweeite, you are young there will be more boys even after him and same w/ him! and if you really want to know how to make him like you? be yourself. and if he doesn't like you for you then why would you want to try to make him like you. there are plenty of boys out there who will like you for you.
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A
female
reader, lilliz  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 hmm, well for one, be yourself and never someone who your not. It will also maybe be good for you to let him know how important he is to you and how much you care for him. Tell him how you honestly feel. I can't really tell you what to say 'cause I don't know how strong your feelings are for him. Try to get him away from everyone and really have a serious conversation with him without anyone else involved or around. If he doesn't like you the way you like him, well that's something your going to have to live with. 'Cause I like this guy who is my best friend but feels nothing towards me as I do him. We've talked about it but big deal. I will move on, and I will find someone who cares about me :) but hon, don't seem to desprate toward him because that will make you seem clingy and than he will become a little scared of you. Don't act like another obsessed girl show him that you care and want to be with him :)
hope this helped,
Lindsay
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): talk to him more than the other girls guys like girls that have high confidence....do very light flirting.......... dont seem desprate at all...............................if u cant seem to talk to him ignore him until he talks to you kinda glance at him every once in a while time to move on if none of this works oh and hurry before he gets a gf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!this always happens to me
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Guys like that usually get overconfident and feel like its their right to have many gfs. I would find a guy who thinks you are the best and only, but honestly at your age guys (and gals) have a lot of oats to sow, so I wouldn't get to serious with anyone guy right now. Just have fun1... I know love and sex are pretty tempting, but don't rush it.
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