A
female
age
41-50,
*JC43201
writes:So...I have been in a relationship with a man I love very much for just about two years. Yesterday morning in bed he told me that he has not been happy with our sex. We use to have AMAZING sex, bragworthy for both of us. He told me that he still loves me but the sex is not the same. He also emphasized that it use to be hot and like 5 times a day and now it is simply "not the same" and we have maybe like 5 times a week. He said he loves to snuggle and so I am kind of lost here. Neither one of us have been in a long term relationship before (he is 31 and I am 28) so I am not sure how to handle this. Personally, I think the sex is OK, could improve, but I am not sure whether this is the beginning of the relationship ending or whether it is just a phase. I love being wanted and am willing to try and make it "hot" again....What should I do? Is this a normal thing that people face in a LTR? What should I expect from him? Sorry, lots of words for a simple question. I am just confused. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Checkup Man  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 I recorded a video on an adult late night channel which featured this problem. It suggested a number of remedies including trying to restart the relationship as it was at the beginning, with love making in the countryside, (more for summertime that one!) romantic dinners by candlelight, plus foreplay techniques and loads of sexual positions to try till you are both fall asleep exhausted. I want to help you so much that I'd even be willing to give you the tape if it would help both of you! All the best, anyway!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): WOW, 5 times a day. I thought that it was great when I, on very rare occasions, had it 4 times a day when I was in my 30s. I don't see how you can keep up a 5 times a day pace for very long. Someone is going to get worn out. How did you manage to walk with a pace like that. Five times a week is much more normal. Over our 28 years, my wife and I have gone from 8 or 10 times a week to 3 or 4 times a week to 2 or 3 times a month and back again. It's been up and down many times over the years. It is not about how many times you do it, but how good it is when you do. I'll take one great, 1 hour love making session every other day over 4 quickies a day any time.
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Maybe you could try doing something a little different, that you don't normally do? Or maybe there's something you used to do before while your sex was still "amazing"...? My boyfriend seems to like it when I sit on his lap (but without any actual sexual penetration) and I sort of... tease him by moving my hips backwards and forwards and by pushing my breasts close to his face. We actually usually do this fully clothed (or mostly clothed) and it always puts us in the mood! I'm sure it'll work while having sex as well though. Rather than just having sex, maybe try teasing him like that for a bit...? If your boyfriend is anything like mine, it should get him excited!
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