A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for just over a year and together for 4 and I need help trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. My husband spends all his spare time with his friends. He hangs out with them every single day. I hang out with my friends maybe once a week the rest of the time I'm home doing his laundry, cooking and cleaning I even make it a point to take interest in his hobbies and help him with that but he never asks me about my hobbies or offer to help with anything. I feel like I'm being taken for granted how do I make him notice me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Have you spoke to him about how you feel? Remember communication is the key to a good relationship. If you have spoke to him and he does not seem to change then stop mothering him. Stop doing his laundry, stop making him his dinner and doing his dishes. Stop cleaning up after him and see if he takes any notice. If you both work then you should both be doing things in the house equally.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (14 November 2016):
You are key. Plain and simple.
Your husband did notice you enough to marry you. Then along the way, things got routine, and now his friends holds all the excitement.
When was the last time you went on a date? When was the last time he came home, and you showed him just enough skin to make him raise his eyebrows?
Pay attention to the very word you used "NOTICE". If you do not give him something to notice...if everything is the same day in and day out, then what will he notice?
How did you get him to notice you in the first place? Did he notice when you wanted sex for the first time? So you see...it's not that he can't notice you...but what are showing?
You are married, he is yours...do not be afraid to explore every aspect of your womanly powers. If only women understood how much power they have over men...he would barely leave the house.
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A
female
reader, Betty Blue Eyes  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Yes he is taking you for granted but if you keep looking after him, cleaning, cooking and doing everything for him then he will always take you for granted.Have you told him that you are not happy with the situation? It's one thing having a husband who knows how unhappy you are yet refuses to change but it's another thing entirely if he is living in blissful ignorance.Before you got married did he always do this? Has your relationship been like this from the beginning? He may be under the impression that you really didn't mind it as you loved him and your relationship enough to get married. Some people don't realise how inconsiderate they are until they are made aware of it. If he was happy with the way things were he probably didn't think things needed to change just because you got married.Besides that do you work? If not you should try finding a job, people complain about getting up for work every day thinking they'd love to just stay at home but after a while it becomes mind numbingly boring! Well to me anyway.Stop trying to get him to notice you, carry on being you but get rid of that self doubt and disappointment that he doesn't notice you enough. Think of it like this, what can he do for you to make YOU happy, it's not all about him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 November 2016):
 Do you work? If not, get a job. Even a part time one. You are too young to just sit at home waiting on your husband.
Secondly, why do you do all the domestic chores while he is off having fun? How is that working for you?
He IS taking you for granted and he is taking full advantage of you trying to be the "perfect wife" - unfortunately, you have sort of shot yourself in the foot by waiting on him hand and foot. He now expects it from you. So it's UP TO to let him know the rules needs changing. I'd stop catering to him to fully. Unless he works 60 hour weeks, STOP doing his laundry, he has two good arms right? so he can do his own. After you have cooked dinner let him know the dishes are his. YOU basically need to train him. Or rather retrain the both of you.
Thirdly, do things YOU enjoy. Be happy within. DON'T expect him to be your only source of happiness and entertainment.
And talk to him. LET him know that you feel like you are just the maid & cook around there, that it doesn't feel like an equal marriage.
UNLESS YOU speak up and start making changes NOTHING will change.
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